WHERE DO YOU FIND WISDOM?

I've discovered Wisdom is never out of style. Not as a subject. As a current point of view, it may vary with the prevailing societal norms. I happen to like my Wisdom in the tried-and-true variety. Here's some vintage stuff from several years ago.

Sometimes Wisdom arrives unexpectedly. A chance remark by a stranger . . . an old saying pops into mind . . . a half-remembered quotation that I have to look up to get the proper wording.

Many folks go to the Bible for words to live by. They have favorite verses, favorite psalms committed to memory; or perhaps favorite hymns from their worship services. These bring comfort in times of distress or sadness. Brick-and-mortar bookstores have shelves sagging from the weight of such books—whatever direction your faith has taken you, there’ll be something for you to read if you want to. Or try the public library, or the library of your faith community.

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Then there’s the Wisdom—or what passed for Wisdom—that we grew up with. Such as:

Waste not, want not!  How often did we hear that one in our youth? Folks who grew up in the Depression  (roughly, 1929 to 1941) would understand this one all too well. And they passed along the message to their children.

A penny saved is a penny earned. Well, not really, not in today’s financial climate; but there’s no denying, a penny saved is a penny saved.

See a pin, pick it up, All the day you’ll have good luck. Offering us good luck was one way to keep pins off the floor where little kids and pets might come to harm. Or barefoot adults. A good reminder for safety. And the corollary worked the same way: See a pin and let it lay, Bad luck you’ll have all the day.

If your nose itches, company’s coming. This was one of several dozen my mother quoted—if it wasn’t an itchy nose, it was dropping silverware, each type indicating the gender of the company to come. Later on I heard it another way: If your nose itches, you’re going to kiss a fool! Hmm, not a very exciting prospect. I’d prefer company coming.

My mother also told me about itchy hands—and to this day, I can’t get this one out of my head. If your left hand itches, you’re going to receive money. (Yay!) If your right hand itches, you’re going to shake hands with somebody. (Meet someone new.)

Another one about money: Foam on the top of a cup of coffee or tea was called “Money on your cup.” (I don’t think this includes cappuccino, though. Just bubbles that form when you pour the liquid into the cup. Sorry about that.)

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Some sayings had honest-to-goodness sense behind them. 

Take this one: As the twig is bent, so grows the tree. That was about more than bending your young tree into an interesting shape; it was meant to warn us how to rear our children (twigs) is such a way that they would grow up into the type of adults (trees) we would like them to be.

Or, The apple never falls far from the tree. Seems obvious, if you’ve ever had/seen an apple tree. After all, the tree doesn’t fling the apples around, even in a windstorm, and the fruit is heavy enough to fall pretty much under the tree it grew on. This was another metaphorical piece of wisdom: Don’t expect your children to be much different from the parents. (I seem to recall the children so described were usually budding delinquents.) In the Nature vs. Nurture debate, this one seems to straddle the fence.

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From what I’ve observed, what we glean from old sayings, proverbs, and family wisdom depends on our family’s history and experience. We were pretty much Midwestern agrarian—hence the practical nature of the quick pieces of advice I learned from childhood on up.

Dig around in your memory bank for those words to live by that your family treasured. Bet you haven’t heard them recently. But they’ll still resonate with you.

If you don’t think they’re especially wise, see if you can file them under Advice. Or Insight. Or, Old Sayings.

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Here’s my current favorite saying (on a whiteboard at the Y)—hope it says something good to you:

YOUR SPEED DOESN’T MATTER…FORWARD IS FORWARD.

  LET ME COUNT THE WAYS

[I racked my brain for new things to say about Autumn, the season that tops my list of favorites. There was nothing more that I needed to add to this love song from a few years ago.]

(With apologies to Elizabeth Barrett Browning, I'm borrowing her phrase, "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways." From Sonnet 43 in Sonnets from the Portuguese.)

This is my love song to Autumn.

I love Autumn for its colors--never the same twice; adjusted and revised, tinted and deepened, over and over and over. Leaves, flowers, pumpkins, cornstalks.


I love Autumn for its fragrances--smoke from wood-burning fireplaces and stoves; the last barbecue of the season; the wine-y smell of fresh apples gathered into the barn at a local orchard; the spice of chrysanthemums ready to plant in flower beds.

I love Autumn for its sounds--lawn mowers and leaf blowers, the municipal vacuum truck; homeowners and carpenters finishing the last bit of repair or construction before the weather changes; rain--wind-blown or gentle--against the roof at night.

I love Autumn for the tastes we create, now that we can heat up the oven--raisin-studded oatmeal cookies, muffins, brownies (so quick to make!), apple pies and fruit crisps; chili in the slow cooker; pork roast with root veggies in the oven; soup, any kind, just so it's soup.

I love Autumn for the touch of soft leather gloves, the rasp of a hand-knitted scarf against my chin; the weight of a shawl or ruana over my turtleneck; corduroys and heavy denims for warmth. And socks! Heavy socks, reaching up the shins to keep out chilly air.

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As I gathered my thoughts for this post, a phrase kept playing in my mind: "Heaven and Nature sing!"

Well, of course they do! In every season Heaven and Nature sing a different song. I celebrate all of them--yes, even summer, my least favorite--but my true love is Autumn.

Even when we have the little season called Indian Summer, with its few days of sun and warmth, Autumn is much too short. Frosty nights are a foretaste of weather to come. 

But until that time, celebrate Autumn. Revel in her colors and tastes. Make room for cookies and soups. Heat up the outdoor grill one last time. Wrap up warm and go to your favorite team's football game.

Yes, indeed. Heaven and Nature sing!

Blessings,

Thursday's Child

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OLD FRIENDS . . .

Every so often I go off the rails and start ordering books--Evergreen (library statewide inter-library loan service), Internet sites, even author's sites that show their wares for sale.

In one of my recent binges, I began collecting a couple of authors I haven't read for 30 or more years. They're used books, of course, and some must be rarer than others by the same author because prices range from affordable to "never mind."

Now you may wonder why I'm back into collecting books, having (I think) mentioned that I've given away a number of books in the past decade or so, when the decluttering bug had bit me, or I had run out of shelf space in the house and books were being stored in the garage (along with dust and insects). Our local library welcomed my surplus, both for its monthly sale and in some cases to fill in a hole in the library's offerings. Anything that wasn't acceptable because of age or condition was further donated by the library to charities that use books to teach reading in other countries.

Wonder no more; the answer is simple: I miss my old friends. Those authors who have been absent from my life for few-or-many decades always had something to share with me. 

I've also learned some of my children like those same authors. Books about country living, country cookery, raising dogs . . . . And the authors were folks who read--poetry, newly published novels, philosophy; and who listened to recordings of composers I've long admired. Didn't they have television, you ask? Yes, Virginia, TV had been invented many, many decades ago; and as with anything new, it didn't continue to fulfill everyone's needs for entertainment. Some folks went out to concerts. Some stayed home and played records and tapes and CDs.

It all boils down to hanging out with old friends.

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Why do we do it, anyway? Why do we enjoy meeting up with old friends, sharing a meal--drinking a fancy coffee together--shopping together--taking a walk, with or without a dog--sharing a hobby like knitting, woodworking, gardening, painting. 

Experts tell us that we need friends to help us cope with life. I like that. So, what about a chance meeting? For me, it's pure enjoyment. An unexpected gift of time with someone who knew me once upon a time. 

While we're talking about non-people friends, here are some thoughts:

• I never feel lonely if I've got a book - they're like old friends. Even if you're not reading them over and over again, you know they are there. And they're part of your history. They sort of tell a story about your journey through life. -- Emilia Fox

• Old books that have ceased to be of service should no more be abandoned than should old friends who have ceased to give pleasure. -- Bernard Baruch

Do you have movies you like to watch every so often--the same ones? Or old TV shows? 

I've worn out some of my favorite LPs (back when I had a stereo setup); fortunately those same albums came out on CDs, but I'll be the first to admit the playback isn't the same. But still--I haven't lost those old favorites. (And I'm not yet ready to stream everything or have it play through my browser.)

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Ultimately, an old friend actually is a person--the author of the book; the composer of the music; the orchestra members or soloists (vocal or instrumental) who played for the recording; the person who wrote the screenplay, the director and the producers and certainly the actors, all of whom were required to make the story come alive visually.

Old friends. They're everywhere in our lives. Celebrate them. Give thanks for them. They're often just the blessing we need to keep on keeping on.

Blessings,

Thursday's Child

 MARY OLIVER X 2

She read to her dogs.

If you haven't met Mary Oliver before, let me introduce her.

She was born in Maple Hills Heights, a suburb of Cleveland, Ohio, in 1935. She died 83 years later in Florida. She loved nature and dogs, and wrote dozens of poems about both subjects.

If you want  more information about her life and growth as a poet, look at the Poetry Foundation's website for a detailed critique.

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Today I'm sharing two of her poems.

WHY I WAKE EARLY

 Hello, sun in my face.

Hello, you who make the morning

and spread it over the fields

and into the faces of the tulips

and the nodding morning glories,

and into the windows of, even, the

miserable and the crotchety--

 

best preacher that ever was,

dear star, that just happens

to be where you are in the universe

to keep us from ever-darkness,

to ease us with warm touching,

to hold us in the great hands of light—

good morning, good morning, good morning.

 

Watch, now, how I start the day

in happiness, in kindness.

      [from the collection WHY I WAKE EARLY, 2004]

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THREE THINGS TO REMEMBER

As long as you're dancing, you can

     break the rules.

Sometimes breaking the rules is just

     extending the rules.

Sometimes there are no rules.

     [from the collection A THOUSAND MORNINGS, 2012]

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Blessings,

Thursday's Child

 PROVERBIAL WISDOM

Nearly everyone grew up with proverbs. They might have been old sayings, or folk wisdom, or a family proverb, but they fit into Aldous Huxley's definition:  Proverbs are always platitudes until you have personally experienced the truth of them.

 I grew up with a whole boatload of cultural proverbs, such as:

--Haste makes waste.

--A stitch in time saves nine.

--Ignorance is bliss.

--Don't cry over spilt milk.

--You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

--You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

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Some of these were meant to make me feel better about something I'd experienced in my young life, like crying over spilt milk. (I don't remember spilling any, but probably did.)

I liked the concept of a stitch in time saving nine. Prevention was better than extra work.

Others didn't make sense--and still don't, such as ignorance is bliss. Nope. Don't get it.

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For your enjoyment, I've collected a handful of proverbs from other cultures:

It’s in the shelter of each other that the people live.

                IRISH PROVERB

 

Never mind snows and storms for the sake of a friend.

                AZERBAIJANI PROVERB

 

One minute of patience, ten years of peace.

                GREEK PROVERB

 

Deeds are fruits. Words are leaves.

                ENGLISH PROVERB

 

If someone sweats for you, you change his shirt.

                HAITIAN PROVERB

Four eyes see more than two.

                ENGLISH PROVERB

 

Deal with the faults of others as gently as your own.

                CHINESE PROVERB

If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.

                AFRICAN PROVERB

 

If the wind will not serve, take the oars.

                LATIN PROVERB

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In our current pandemic climate, may we find wisdom, and encouragement, and perhaps even a little diversion in the words and thoughts of other cultures.

Until next time . . . be safe, be kind to one another, be at peace.

SOME HEALING THOUGHTS

A few days ago I came across a poem by L R Knost, contemporary writer. The words are simple, the thoughts profound. If you're in a place where Life is looking gray and grim, this short poem may speak to you.

 * * * * *

When life hits hard

and you break in the soft places,

grow, love.

Grow.

Grow into the cracks.

Fill them with plaster,

layer upon layer

of tenderness, love, and intention.

Like casts on broken bones,

steadying, supporting,

letting time heal.

Knitting a new you,

from pieces of the old you.

Still you, but different.

Still good, but changed.

Still scarred, but stronger,

wiser, braver, you.

       L. R. Knost

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Blessings,

Thursday's Child

  LIFE IN THE SLOW LANE.....

There was a time when living life in the fast lane was the way to go. Everybody knew that. We had to go faster, farther, do more, get there quicker (wherever there was). It was the only definition for success going. The Eagles had a song about it. Had to be true.

Uh-huh. Until it wasn't true any more.

I can already anticipate reader response to this topic--they'll say: once she got to this age, she had to slow down, so now she's making it into a virtue.

And?

Let's get something out of the way right now: This is not about "stopping to smell the roses" or "getting off the merry-go-round"--that was 60s stuff. This is about living deeper. Ready? Take a deep breath.......

Think back to a time when you were deeply committed to something--your children, your marriage, your church, your hobby (whatever it was); politics; teaching; practicing medicine; playing in an orchestra; playing on a sports team, volunteering somewhere in your community . . . it doesn't matter what it was, or when it was, you had a strong attachment to that activity, that role you played. And while it was strong, it was also deep. So deep you didn't--couldn't-- always tear yourself away to do things or go places other people wanted you to do or go. 

In some instances, you may have lost friends or other relationships because of your commitment. Or, you may have been fortunate enough to have understanding folks around you who helped you honor your role and still remain part of a family or neighborhood or group.

My belief, based on my own experience and observing the experience of others, is that a deep commitment is a way of living in the Slow Lane. We continue in our path--either chosen by us or having been led into it--and we do that despite distractions and even well-meaning invitations to join in something else.

Consider world-class athletes who train for the chance to go to the Olympics. Consider musicians whose CDs you have in your collection who practiced for hours (literally!) every day of the week so their music would be the best they could make it. Consider scientists who work long hours in laboratories, sometimes alone, sometimes on teams--trying to find the answer to a puzzling disease, or the structure of cells, or how and why our climate is running amok.

My life wasn't geared toward any great goal--looking at what I did "back then," I see it was almost always something I saw that needed doing, at home or at church or in my community. I had a lot of company then, doing what I was doing--and I can say our attitude was one of "let's get this done." Or, as the Brits say, "Just get on with it."

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Some of us never had to make the decision to give up our Slow Lane life. But I suspect many of us had to wait until the time was right to find it--the children grown and flown, retirement from a day job, a move to another part of the country, a broken marriage, a death--we never thought we'd live through some of these changes, but we did. And when we came out on the other side, we found we had something called "free time." Hours and days unscheduled. A grand gift. And possibly a bit scary.

We may also have found ourselves a tad adrift--no job to go to, no family commitments, perhaps even no close friends, if we'd moved to a far-away place. This is the ideal time to consider living in the Slow Lane.

I know, whole books have been written on this subject, so you won't find this post definitive. The main things to remember are these:

--Slow Lane living is about depth, not speed.

--Former commitments don't have to be renewed. New ones can be explored.

--Not every hour of every day needs to be filled in. (There is no prize for a full calendar.)

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I've always been a schedule person (goes with being a list-maker) and I've discovered scheduling is still important to me, well into retirement, so I choose to continue to use it. Keeping track of medical appointments, birth dates of people dear to me, and due dates for library items are right at the top of my list. But I don't obsess about that keeping-track. I do it for peace of mind.

Life in the Slow Lane doesn't have to be filled with sloths. Tortoises are welcome; at least they move around, a little at a time. Maybe a better word to use for Slow Lane living is Patience. 

Maybe that's what Slow Lane living is all about--being patient, making a space and a place for Peace of Mind. I can do that. How about you?

Blessings,

Thursday's Child

P.S. The resurrection lilies in the pic below happen only once a year. I wait through the long period of lots of green leaves, their death into long brown stuff, and then the shoots come through, a few at a time. Then more. and finally a whole clutch of them in all their glory. Worth waiting for.

Resurrection Lilies with Holly Hippo