COMING SOON

This time next week I'll be recuperating from surgery to replace a heart valve that just plumb wore out. At my age, that wasn't a big surprise, but it wasn't something I had put on my "someday" calendar, either.

Here's the best news I've had so far (in numerous appointments for talks with medical folks):

• tests show that my arteries and veins are clear--no need for stents
• this procedure can be done without opening up my chest
• this procedure has been in use for 15-plus years, and I was told that I could expect another 15 years' worth of wear out of my new valve; after that I can have the same procedure again
• hospital stay is 1-3 days, most likely only one, if I'm not having any problems
• initial recovery at home is about 7 days, then I'll start cardiac rehab for 12 weeks or so

I think that's the gist. This info is mainly to give you a heads-up that next week you may not see Thursday's Child in your inbox. Or, you might see a rerun of another post that I happen to like.

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Here in Northeast Indiana we're gearing up for 3-6 inches of snow overnight. Last week's non-functioning furnace is again pumping out heat. Outdoor temps rise and sink on a schedule only they know. Meantime, we make sure covers, warm clothes, and hot soup are within easy reach.

We continue to give thanks for everyone in the helping professions and everyone who knows how to fix broken boilers, among other things.

Most of all--thanks to all who keep prayers going.

Blessings,

Thursday's Child

THINGS I'VE LEARNED ALONG THE WAY

We're all on a learning curve, from the time we're born till we finally give up this life.

You'll recognize all the ordinary, expected, ways we've progressed--learning to ride a bike, reading for the first time, winning (or losing) a ball game because of an error we made. You can make your own list of high (or low) points.

Today I want to pull out a few memories and examine what I've learned. Such as:

• what to do about the "self-critic" that rides on my shoulder
• how to deal with perfectionism
• failure
• joy
• self-care

That critic that sits on my shoulder and whispers in my ear that I'm wasting my time (no matter what I'm trying to accomplish) has ruined many a project. Doesn't matter what it is--art, music, crafts, fiber arts, sometimes even finishing my college degree. 

Then there was perfectionism--a trait I took on pretty early in my life as a way to "earn" my parents' approval. Huge mistake--it never worked. And if I ever did become "perfect" (by someone's standards) there was always the risk of having it fall through.

So we're at failure. If I was going to be perfect, then I had no option but to make sure I never, ever, failed. You can imagine how that played out.

Somewhere along the line I found joy--and it came with all those projects my self-critic said I couldn't do. But I persevered, and even when what I tried didn't work out, I said, okay, I learned something about that. And it was a joyful time.

The first four categories are about ways we live our lives. In the end, they add up to how we care for ourselves. 

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Here are some of the lessons I learned:

• I had to embrace "good enough" and let my self-critic go off and pout in a corner.
• I had to let go of the competitive spirit that said I had to be perfect--or another way of putting it, being better than everybody else.
• I had to see failure as an opportunity to learn/grow/see something in a new way.
• I had to welcome joy into my life--knowing there was never going to be the ideal, or perfect answer or way to live; but there was going to be a life worth living.
• I learned that self-care isn't the same as selfishness. Self-care is knowing myself well enough to figure out what I'm doing that keeps my mind and body happy and working well, and equally, figuring out what is toxic to good mental and physical health.

Best of all, it's never too late to learn more about how to take care of yourself; by doing so, you will have a self to give to others.

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Besides all the big categories discussed above, I learned lots of things to add to my life--country-western line dancing; knitting and sewing large projects; cooking gluten-free; yoga; tai chi; living alone and doing all my own yard work, house work, and getting maintenance for house, yard, and vehicle. I wrote novels and short stories (but not for publication). I started this blog. I worked in a law office for 30 years. 

Mostly, what I've learned "along the way," is to do what I can to help others; to be kind, or (as someone is quoted as saying) if I can't be kind, to be kind-er. I wish you joy in your journey.

Blessings,

Thursday's Child

 ADVICE TO SELF...

If you spend any time at all on electronic media (phone, computer, tablet, etc.) you know that everybody and his dog is trying to give you advice.

So I looked up advice - thinking perhaps I was missing something. Here's a partial list of what I found:

• opinion
• recommendation
• counsel
• guide
• hint
• "word to the wise"

(Only a partial list--it went on and on and on.)

Since I'm limiting the topic to advice I give myself (or plan to give myself, or hope to give myself), I went with recommendation, guide, and hint. Herewith my conclusions:

1. Time is always a big topic in my life. So #1 advice to myself is to take my time when working on a project or making a decision. After all, Life is not a race. There's no medal or reward or blue ribbon for getting farther along than everybody else. That's Life itself, not races or Olympics or college degrees. Those all have their rewards. 
2. If I know what I'm doing, then don't listen to advice from others. Just keep on. Don't waste my time getting distracted from my main event.
3. Do one step at a time; multi-tasking is often a prelude to disaster.
4. Don't get pulled into a contest with other people. Just admire them and their accomplishment, and keep on plugging.
5. Ignore "health" advice (this is everywhere in social media), unless it's given to me personally by someone treating me professionally.
6. Believe in myself. After all, I have to live with myself.
7. Beware of these suspicious words: 

• Always . . .
• Never . . .
• You should try . . .

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You've probably heard it said, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." Do I need to expound on the absurdity of this? Thank you.

What makes more sense is a bit of philosophy attributed to Socrates:

KNOW THYSELF

Words worth following.

Blessings,

Thursday's Child

5 cents? Hmmm.....

 CAN YOU SPELL THANKFUL?

Yes, I know it's January, not November. And yes, we don't usually celebrate Thanksgiving this early in the year. But today I felt like being thankful and wanted to explore some of the ways we can show thankfulness. Ready?

T - Today. Remember, everyday is "today"--and you can be thankful.

H - Here. Wherever you are, whatever you're doing.

A - All the time. All ways. St. Paul says we should give thanks in all circumstances. That is a really, really tall order for me. But I'm working on it.

N - Now. This very minute. No waiting for an appropriate (whatever that is) time or day or event. 

K - Kindness--one of the ways we show we're thankful. As my friend Liz Flaherty says, "Be kind to somebody."

F - Freely--with abandon--scatter your thanks everywhere you can. 

U - Uplifted - the way you'll feel when you give thanks.

L - Love. One of the greatest ways to give thanks. And--the more you give, the more you find is returned to you. 

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We all have reasons to be thankful--yours may be different from mine, but the really simple act of saying "thank you"--to whomever or whatever you believe is the source of your reason for thankfulness will make a difference in your life. It has, and continues to do so, for me.

Blessings,

Thursday's Child

 HERE WE GO!

Nine days into the new year--2025!--and what is there to say? Anything new? I doubt it.

I reread some of the January posts from earlier years--no inspiration there.

Also looked for cool quotations on a website devoted to providing them. No help.

Sat and pondered what's going on in my life, and the lives of my family and friends. Decided (1) probably much the same as what's going on in yours. And (2) If that's true, then what I report would bore you.

So I will merely wish you a wonderful year to come! 2025--did you ever think you'd write that? I didn't. Sounds like something out of a sci fi story. And if you have any doubts about going ahead in a new year, think about the advice from Hal Borland above.

Enjoy the journey!

Thursday's Child

 FAVORITE THINGS....

I looked up favorite and discovered that it's possible to have more than one favorite thing! How wonderful is that?

1--One that is treated or regarded with special favor or liking:
     That song is my favorite.

     Especially--a person who is specially loved, trusted, or provided with
       favors by someone of high rank or authority:
     The king granted the land to two of his favorites.

2--A competitor judged most likely to win:
     Which horse is the favorite in this race?

And we all know about adding websites to our list of favorites--a/k/a bookmarks.

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Today I'm looking at definition #1--my own special likings. No particular order; just because a group is labeled second or third doesn't mean it is of lesser value.

First--Things that Make Me Smile
   The word Bookstore on a sign. . . or Library
   Puppies (I love L L Bean catalogs!)
   New fabric for making things

Second--Things that Give Me Comfort
   Food--mashed potatoes, homemade soup, brownies,
     tacos, pizza
   Warm clothes in winter; cool clothes in hot weather
   Quilts made by hand (mine or someone else's)

Third--Things that Bring Me Peace
   A new book by a favorite author
   A letter from my child or a friend
   A dependable vehicle

Fourth--Things that Make Me Get up in the Morning
   The smell of coffee brewing
   A project I want to continue or finish
   Appointments I want to keep

Fifth--Things I Can't Imagine Living Without
   Music
   My own home
   A church I belong to



 
Make your own list--you may surprise yourself what you really, really, really like a whole lot.

I discovered that my list of favorites is never-ending. I could go on and on and on.............

But I won't! Have a blessed week!