RULES AND REGS

One of my all-time favorite TV series was The Andy Griffith Show. Lots of memorable episodes, crazy humor, goofy situations. Whenever I needed a spirit-lift, I could count on Andy, Barney & Co. to do the heavy lifting. In an episode called "The Big House," Deputy Barney Fife lays down the law to the prisoners (both cells are filled): "Rule Number One--Obey All Rules!!"

That line still cracks me up. 

So I've come up with a list of rules that might resonate with you. For instance:

--"Don't make plans." This sounds like advice, rather than a rule. But if you have a little experience under your fedora, you can add it to your list of rules. There's nothing like making plans--simple ones, complex ones--to create a little chaos in your life.

--"Think twice, speak once." Took me a long time to get this one under my toque, but it has served me well. The second "think" is what keeps you from saying those words on the top of your mind and the tip of your tongue that might--just might--get you in big trouble.

--"Two ears for listening; one tongue for speaking." Another way of saying "listen more than you talk." You'll have more friends, or at least people who support you.

--"Just because something is not a secret, you still don't have to blab it around." Self-evident, right?

--"Off the record means off the record." If you're asked to keep a secret, or just to keep something under your balaclava, then do it. If a friend asks you, then it's a hard-and-fast rule. If a chance acquaintance asks you, then consider it a politeness.

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What irks most people is that rules are so prohibitive. They're all in the category of "thou shalt nots."

If we nudge that definition a little, we can consider these possibilities:

   --rules help us get through life with a little less chaos
   --rules can keep us from blundering around, hurting others, or losing friends
   --rules can show others we are trustworthy

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Another category is safety--rules probably started in your home when you were a toddler, and the rules increased exponentially once you hit primary school and beyond:

   --keeping the classroom safe
   --learning safety in fire drills (I hated those!)
   --being safe on the playground
   --being safe on the way to school/home
   --being safe in the laboratory
   --automobile safety (should've learned this in driver's ed)

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We've been subject to rules & regs all our lives--even before we were born, our parents and other ancestors lived by accepted procedures for their times. 

During our lives, we see how rules come and go--and sometimes come back again. In the past few years, there's been a hue and cry (quiet but gathering volume) for simple politeness to return. Maybe it will.

And if you need more evidence, pick up nearly any popular magazine and learn about what we "ought to do" to be slimmer, fitter, healthier; to live longer, reduce pain, be happier . . . . It's couched in terms of advice--but if you look closely, the advice is pretty much prescriptive. In other words, rules.

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Whether you call them rules or advice, these "words to live by" can be a positive force for us. (Another time I'll talk about breaking the rules--sometimes that's the best thing we can do.)