WHAT DOES GRATITUDE LOOK LIKE?

Line up ten people, ask that question, and you'll get--you guessed it--ten different answers!

Today you'll get my version.

Now that it's summer, my fourth favorite season, I decided to challenge myself. I asked: "What can I be grateful for when I don't feel grateful?"

(Please don't gasp--it distracts others.)

Since I've never had a single original thought in my life--and having lived so long I recognize that as a fact, not a stain on my character--I know I'm not the only person who has asked that question. Some days, it's just like that.

Here's an example:

• We are now into the fourth full day of Summer.
• The temp is hovering in the low 80s, working its way up.
• Humidity likes to hover with the temp. but today it's enjoying the 90s.
• The sun is up! (Well, duh, this is summer.)
• It's daylight out there 'way earlier than working folks should be up--but they hope to beat the heat & humidity (see above) if they get lawns mowed, gutters cleaned out, roofs put on . . . .

Just so we're clear, this is my list. If you don't like mine, make your own.

My challenge to myself: Look out my window and name 5 things (yes, 5) I see out there that I'm grateful for. Taking a deep breath . . . ready?

1. Green. Lots of green out there. Or, I should say, lots of greens--dark green, pale green, yellow green, rusty green (I know, it sounds odd, but that's what it looks like). To give your eye a chance to rest, there are also reds (Japanese maples), purples and pinks (flowering bushes), and yellows (flower beds and dandelions in bloom). 
2. Shade. For the moment, no one is chopping down any trees in my vicinity. Every time I see a tree being reduced to logs and sawdust, I weep inside--we lose a little of our natural combatant to the increasing carbon footprint. Yes, a new tree will (perhaps) be planted--but it'll take years to grow and provide shade.
3. Breeze. Okay, I don't actually see the breeze, but I see the trees, bushes, and bird feeders swaying back and forth. By the way, did you know birds don't really care that their feeders sway around while they're at lunch? Can you imagine being in a swaying cafe while trying to chow down on a burger and fries? Or a bowl of chili? The mind boggles.
   
   
   
4. Neat lawns. My neighborhood is blessed with folks who either mow their own lawns or hire it done. At present all the houses on my long block are occupied or at least owned and maintained by folks who hope to live in them some day. That means there are no patches of knee-high weeds-and-grass that announce "This Property Is Unoccupied."
5. Animal Life. Birds, chipmunks, squirrels. Dogs. Cats. People (usually walking the dogs, or vice versa). A few kids on bikes but that's usually out front on the street; the alley is one-lane wide and not safe for bikes and cars together.

There are my five offerings for gratitude this day. And I didn't even get into people stuff: medical appointments, visits from out-of-town friends, letters and emails and texts from people I care about.

Shall we do a "takeaway"? It would be this:

• Open your eyes--really look at what's out there; and when you see something you like, smile and say, "Thank you."
• That's gratitude, in a nutshell.

Blessings abundant,

Thursday's Child

 PEACE

 
[This essay appeared nearly 10 years ago--and I find it has as much to tell us now as it did then.]

I've chosen a word to live by to finish out the year. That word is PEACE.

 

Over 40 years ago I taught freshman composition to college freshmen. Our course started with a descriptive essay; continued into compare-and-contrast; and toward the end we advanced to the extended definition. It was one of the hardest to teach and one of the hardest to learn.

The extended definition essay attempts to go beyond the dictionary's pared-down list of meanings and asks the reader to enter into the writer's concept. We used examples from our lives, from books, from whatever experiences we could muster.

One way to define a concept is to tell what it is not.

My trusty Merriam Webster lists these things about PEACE:
- absence of war or strife
- freedom from quarrels and disagreement
- to remain silent 

Another definition of PEACE refers to an inner state of calm; tranquility. My favorite tea mug bears this legend:

- peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.

Still another way to look at PEACE deals with our actions; here's a quotation from the late Henri Nouwen, Dutch Catholic priest, professor, writer and theologian:

- Did I offer peace today? Did I bring a smile to someone's face? Did I say words of healing? Did I let go of my anger and resentment? Did I forgive? Did I love? These are the real questions. I must trust that the little bit of love that I sow now will bear many fruits, here in this world and the life to come.

And Mother Theresa:

-If we have no peace. it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.

------

Peace be with you.

 

Blessings,

Thursday's Child 

 

 BAD DAY? STAY TUNED....

If you've ever had a really bad day--what a friend of mine calls a crap-sandwich day--then you might find some relief with a visit from Thursday's Child today.

Let me say first--yes, I, too, have bad days--always have, probably always will. BUT! They're not the end of the story. They just happen. To you. To me. To everybody. (Don't let anybody try to put one over on you and say they never have a bad day. Just smile, pretend you didn't hear, and change the subject.)

So if we all recognize that bad days will happen, no matter how we hold our mouth or what little sayings we tell ourselves to chase away the bogies or where we go to hide in the dark under a big cover until it all goes away--never mind all that. There are actual things we can do to make a bad day less bad. Ready?

LIVE - go ahead with your usual life; on a bad day, you'll no doubt have bumps in the road, winds that pick you up and toss you around, rain that never stops, no matter how much you pray (remember Noah? 40 days and 40 nights? what we have is a drizzle to his troubles). And you'll discover--and billions of people before us have discovered--that the road will smooth out, the wind will die down, and the rain will stop. Maybe not all at once. Maybe not for several more crap-sandwich days, but it will all go away.

• You have to trust me on this one--I've lived long enough to have it happen many, many times. The technique is: Hang in there!

LOVE - yep, even on a bad day, you can find something to love. A movie on Netflix? A book you got for your birthday and wanted to start but stuff got in the way? The new dog who came to live with you because you know you have enough love for it and that's what it needs right now?

• Here's a thought--go through a drawer or box of your stuff that you haven't looked at in, oh, these many moons/years/decades--don't do anything with it, just look at it. If it's not a bunch of cool stuff you like "just because," then leave it and get out another one. Eventually you'll find something--a love letter from a friend, a dried up bunch of flowers from some little guy or gal in your family who thought you could use a pretty posy, one earring (left from a pair) that recalls a special event where you lost the other one, or maybe even an old diary or journal you'd forgotten about, and when you start reading it, you're transported back in time to who you were all those years ago.

LAUGH - it doesn't have to be a true bad-bad-bad day; it can just be a day when you'd rather not be checking in at the hospital for a 15-minute procedure that will take up most of your day (due to leftover anesthesia in your system). On such a day, here are some humorous (in my opinion) thoughts to get your brain on another track:

     (Sign on the window when I checked 

     in for the above 15 minutes of 

     oblivion)

• “My mother always used to say: The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.”
  

  —Rose (Betty White, on The Golden Girls)

• “I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.”
  —Phyllis Diller

• “You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.” —Joan Rivers

And if you're so inclined, here's one you can share with your grandchildren:

    Knock, knock.....

    Who’s there?

    Water.

    Water who?

    Water you doing telling jokes right now? Don’t you have things to do?

But if all else fails, go back to bed and get up on a better day.

Blessings,

Thursday's Child

 TOUGH TIMES . . .

Everybody has tough times . . . I've never met anybody who lived in a land of eternal springtime, little birdies singing, flowers blooming their heads off--and honestly, I don't think I'd actually believe it if I did meet somebody like that.

But I have met lotsa folks who have tough times of varying intensity and length, and from them, I've learned a little about how to navigate those rocky places in life.

Often, I've had mentors from my churches. They prayed with me. They recommended books and authors whose writings gave me a different point of view. They showed me how to turn difficult times into possibilities for growth. And the best thing of all, over the years I've developed a habit of looking for those ways on my own.

If you've been reading Thursday's Child for a while, you know I spend a lot of time reading. One of my favorite writers has been, and is, C. S. Lewis. I first knew his work when I was an undergrad English major--we used one of his books, The Four Loves, in a Middle English course. A few years later, I made his acquaintance again when my oldest daughter brought home The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, the first of the Narnia series. And since that time, I've read many of his books on religious subjects.

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Recently, I've collected thoughts from various sources. Around Mother's Day, The New York Times ran an article about advice people had received from their moms. What fun to read! Some of those sayings I'd heard in my young life--things like "walk in the other person's shoes before you judge." 

But the one that stood out for me, and that I'd never heard before, was this: "If you try, you either win or you learn." Got that? Win or learn--not win or lose. In similar words, I've been reading that sentiment, "win or learn," for the past several years--mostly from visual artists, writers, and  teachers, who are absolutely convinced that mistakes are good things, because they help you learn something you didn't know before.

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Last week I watched a video on YouTube by an American artist I follow, Ellen Crimi-Trent. This was a follow-up video about her father. A few months ago, Ellen and her brother were helping their artist father downsize his studio; he had hundreds (literally!) of paintings, some framed, some not; and he was no longer able to paint due to poor health. The family members were clearing out the studio, selling paintings locally and online. They'd done this once already this year; now they were having a second sale, and the end was, apparently not in sight. Their father, the artist, could no longer hold a paint brush. I'm guessing he's in his 80s. 

At the end of the video, Ellen closed with this thought, "Take the time and space to enjoy every moment that you have." That really hit me where I live.

I wish you the same--time and space.

Blessings,

Thursday's Child