THE BIG RESTART

January seems to be designated the time to Restart! 

[from Carolyn Tyger]

Restart your hobbies. Restart your regular activities.Restart your exercise program. Restart your life, even.

Every website I visit to learn about watercolor painting has one or more tutorials on how to get started again--the assumption being that we all took time off to celebrate the holidays and forgot all about our previously all-consuming interests.

Really?

I'll grant you: lots of folks go all out with decorating, entertaining, attending programs. And before they even got to that point, they dished out energy in tracking down that elusive "perfect" gift for You Know Who. 

Then there were all the things that had to be done before the arrival of whatever holiday was being celebrated: colored lights to be tested, possibly replaced; dinnerware that always graced the table for the holiday meal(s); candelabra polished; housecleaning or rearranging to accommodate family and guests who needed shelter during the season.

Shopping wasn't confined to gifts--there was also the search for ingredients (sometimes also elusive) to make Uncle Josiah's favorite holiday pudding. And woe betide the shopkeeper who no longer sold that one special addition to the mix--even if he said the company no longer made it so he couldn't order it even if he wanted to.

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As you can see--enormous amounts of energy could have been expended beginning 'way back in the autumn and continuing on into the new year. (In case you haven't experienced it, the energy drain takes on a life of its own; by New Year's Day, some folks have no bandwidth for what we used to call Normal Life Activities.)

Losing our bandwidth can create its own set of difficulties:

• forgetting how to manage the normal 24 hours per day we've always had
• losing track of simple stuff: how to make microwave popcorn without incinerating it, how long to allow for instant oatmeal so it doesn't turn into super glue, the process for thawing a frozen chicken/turkey/roast safely
• finding a bag of frozen vegetables ("it's gotta be here somewhere")

You get the idea.

So I can understand the thinking behind all the "let's get a new start" tutorials. The underlying assumption is: We've all been straining our brains and resources doing Other Stuff--we've forgotten how to organize a painting/quilt/family meal.

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Here's what I've learned by watching those tutorials:

• start small--allow 5 minutes, or 10, or maybe even 15; do the simplest part first
• start simple--no big projects, no complex designs, no 15-ingredient recipes or king-size quilts (Think: Less is More)
• when the 5/10/15-minute segments began to feel tedious, add a few more minutes
• when we get to the point we can feel our muscle memory returning and our mental acuity clicks on, we're probably ready to tackle the normal whatever-it-was we thought we'd lost

We could call it warming up the engine before starting out.

Or finding the thread again that we had to let go of when life got Too Busy.

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Two things to remember:

1. Restarting is NOT Starting from Scratch.
2. You didn't forget or lose all the experience and knowledge you  had before you took a break.
3. Okay, one more thing: Restarting is a process. Doesn't happen in a day, or a week--certainly not in an hour or two. Just go with it. You'll get there.

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I wish you well in getting your groove back. You're in good company, even if your friends won't admit they have the same situation. 

And if you want to change your habits--ideal time to begin! Just remember: start small and  let it build.

Up here in my neighborhood it's a snowy winter day. Going out might be optional. Good time to get a new start!

Blessings,

Thursday's Child

 IS IT A NEW YEAR?

[This post, published a couple or three years ago, still works for me. Hope it speaks to you also. I've changed a few things, like dates, so we don't confuse ourselves.]

We've flipped the page, maybe bought a whole new calendar.

Is it really new? Be honest--are you making radical changes in your life? In your goals? In your home/job/family/activities?

So what's really new in your life about this new year?

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Many years ago I was introduced to the idea of "living intentionally." This was a new way of looking at my life--and it opened up for me the act of choosing, of acting, instead of having things chosen for me, of being acted upon.

A few years ago I blogged about New Year's Intentions--some people call them resolutions, others use the word goals.

The tradition of choosing those intentions or resolutions or goals centers around January 1st, when we enter into a new year. But it doesn't harm me if I change my intentions partway through the calendar's page-turning. 

Trying a new intention--let's say, learning to play tennis--might turn out to be the worst possible choice I could make. In a few lessons I will no doubt learn that my ankles are weak (always have been), I can't move fast enough to return the serve (moving fast went away some years back), and my forehand is inhibited by tendinitis and arthritis in my right (dominant) arm. 

Those physical limitations don't prohibit me from learning about tennis, watching it in the Olympic games and tournaments, even, perhaps, writing about it, once I understand what I'm talking about.

The lesson for me is this: Just because I say I want to do something, to accomplish a goal, to dedicate my life to X, Y, or Z, doesn't mean it will be possible. But a modification of the goal, a change in perception, may work to my advantage. I'll still have weak ankles, but I can appreciate the agility and beauty of movement of the Olympic stars.

And a corollary to that lesson goes like this: If I don't live intentionally, I'll drift; so I better think about what intentions would be good to cultivate.

For me, those intentions run along certain lines, such as:

--using the gifts I've been given for good
--being alert to possibilities for serving 
--examining my life--Am I kind to others? Do I forgive easily? Do I show I care?
--listening more, talking less
--praying more
--being open to new ideas, new ways of doing things

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I don't have any sage (or otherwise) advice for you. But I will share this: Part of the joy of setting those intentions or goals comes during the journey, the searching for what fulfills your idea of yourself and what you want your life to look like.

Just remember--none of our thoughts and actions and intentions are set in stone. If a re-think shows you a better way, give it a whirl.

Hope your new year is a happy one--healthy, full of abundance and joy, and alive with whatever is new for you!

Blessings,

Thursday's Child

 THE POWER OF THE MAILBOX

[This first appeared some years ago, but it's still all true--I adore my mailbox and all the things that come to me. Yes, I know some of them will end up in the recycling bin, but there are always nuggets that warm my heart.]

January is birthday month for me, so I'm pretty interested in the mailbox. Is that a package the carrier is delivering here? What about that sheaf of envelopes--birthday cards, maybe?

It's too early, but I can't help myself. My attraction to and fascination with the postal service have been ongoing ever since I felt the excitement of holding a piece of mail addressed to me.

The story really begins back in...well, back several years. Decades, really. I was 10 years old, had just moved to another state away from family and friends, and was living out in the country on a gravel road at least five miles from the nearest town. This was in the foothills of the Ozarks, so no road went straight anywhere--as the crow flew, distances weren't so great; as the car trudged along, it took forever, to my 10-year-old mind, to get to the town where there was a library. The library was, from that day to this, the mecca toward which I bowed and prayed. (Well, not quite, but you get the idea.) But that's another story.

Okay, I'm ten years old, just ready to have another birthday. And I know there'll be a birthday card or two from my aunts back in Illinois. But I never expected something else I got--a subscription to Silver Screen movie magazine! My stepgrandmother knew what this 11-year-old girl would want to read. The magazine came addressed to me. Every single month. I lost myself in the stories of the stars and their lives, memorizing photos of the ones I knew from the few movies I had seen. Those magazines piled up in my room. I treated them kindly so they didn't get bent or wrinkled, and I reread them till I knew them forward and backward.

After that first exhilaration of receiving mail, I looked forward to having pen pals. Those experiences were never as great as I'd thought they would be. Either the pal or I lost interest because we ran out of things to say. Hard to get a letter out to the box if nothing is going on in your life; or worse--if what is going on is better left unsaid, especially to an outsider.

A couple of years later I went to live with my dad and stepmother, and my mother wrote me every week from where she and my stepfather lived. Most of her writings were postcards--not the picture kind, but the ones bought from the post office that had acres of room on the back for messages. My mom could scrunch her handwriting down into really small script to get lots of information on the back. She had beautiful cursive writing--I read and reread those cards that whole year that we were apart. They were like having her there, talking to me. And she always reminded me that she loved me. That was best of all.

By that time I was in junior high--now called middle school--so I learned about ordering things through the mail. First came photos of my favorite movie stars--I wrote asking for an autographed picture and most of them sent one. Within a few years I was earning a little money working part time, so my correspondence escalated to orders for phonograph records--LPs from The Columbia Club. (Somebody in this audience has to remember LPs.) Jazz, both vocal and instrumental, was my category. Then I added show tunes, groups like The HiLos, and finally some piano soloists playing classical music. (In those days I called all the "serious" music classical; later I would learn about the different periods and styles. Didn't bother me that I wasn't 100% correct--ignorance never stopped me from enjoying the music.)

Despite forays into merchandise-by-mail, I never lost the attraction of personal letters. When friends graduated from high school before me, I asked them to write. Some of them did. After I married, I gained a whole new family of letter writers--in-laws (after we moved to Michigan), plus my husband's grandparents and aunt and uncle in Iowa. Because we moved around in the first years of our marriage, some of my relatives kept in touch by mail--my dad and stepmother, aunts, and a couple of cousins. In addition there were always birthday cards to receive and send--and they had to have a message inside, naturally.

To this day, my favorite mail delivery includes letters, cards with messages hand-written inside, a magazine I love to read, or a package. Sometimes I strike it lucky and get all of the above. Bonanza indeed!

I'm a pretty good pen pal these days--I've learned to write on and on about practically anything. Blogs are ideal for that talent. And maybe--just maybe--age has something to do with it. After all, several decades of experiences have to count for something, right?

Yes, I've learned to appreciate the Internet and its electronic mail that has captivated me along with millions of other folks. Yes, I do use texting. These quick corresponders keep me in touch with folks when I need to let them know something or ask a question and can't--or won't--wait for slower processes. Sometimes it's just to say hi. But it's not quite the same as a letter I can hold in my hand, knowing it's been in my cousin's or friend's hand just a few days ago, the wobbly writing signifying the labor of love of an arthritic hand. I know that person and she wrote me a letter.

The power of the mailbox--it's the great connector in an age where so much is instantaneous. "Snail" mail gives us something better than instant gratification: Anticipation. Today just might be the day for a letter or card or package. And if not today, well, there's hope for tomorrow.

That's the power of the mailbox.

 

SOMETIMES . . . another look

[A second look at this post, published in 2020, seems appropriate right now--some of us are lamenting the passing of 2022, others wish it had gone away sooner. Perhaps we just need a little joy . . . .]

You may remember a blog back in the summer of 2017 when I explored the land of Sometimes.

Today I'm taking us on a different sojourn in the same land--a happy sojourn, because whether we know it or not, 

SOMETIMES JOY BREAKS THROUGH.

I can hear your question: Why wouldn't I want Joy to break through? Well, let's talk about that.

Sometimes, Joy breaks through when you're at a cemetery service for the interment of a loved one.

Sometimes, it's while you're reading a book that touches your heart and soul.

Sometimes, it's when you hear a piece of  music that draws you in and holds you, keeps you safe.

Sometimes, it can happen when you watch a young father change his baby's diaper.

Sometimes, on a gloomy day--a real downer--you suddenly feel like dancing (never mind your two left feet).

Why, we wonder? Why--or maybe, how--does this happen? For me, Joy breaking through happens this way:

--God breaks through our sadness.

--God parts the curtain, lifts the veil.

--And it happens because God loves us, wants us to be happy and loving and giving, even in times of grief and anger and disappointment.

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Nearly everyone has a favorite Bible verse. Mine is a partial verse, Matthew 28:20b--Lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.

These words have sustained me in the most trying times:

--travel in dangerous winter weather

--my mother's long illness and then death

--marriage at a young age

--birth of four children in six years, with no family nearby for help or support

--waiting for teenage children to return home at night

--erosion of a marriage, and eventual divorce

--learning I have serious health issues; living with cancer, heart disease, vision problems

Always--always!--God broke through the veil and let Joy return to comfort and keep me.

The success of Joy breaking through may depend, in part, on our willingness to let it happen.

Sometimes, the rut we wallow in is/becomes quite comfortable.

Sometimes, we see no possible way to go, to be.

Sometimes, we refuse help--believing that if we can't do it ourselves, then nobody else can help us.

And thus God has fashioned us human beings to help each other; to be God's eyes, ears, hands, arms, and feet where God would go, if only we'd allow it.

I  have to confess: I have a hard time accepting help; past experience has shown me getting help from others may have negative side effects. But I also freely confess, I wouldn't have made it through my life without the help of other people.

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Time for a little language lesson. Did you ever notice that enjoy contains the word joy? To en-joy is to inject joy into something. To make it happen. To summon it out.

And another good word for us is rejoice, also derived from joy. We sang "rejoice! rejoice!" during Advent. We sang "Joy to the world" at Christmas.

Perhaps we're hard-wired to keep joy in life, for ourselves and for others.

Be blessed!