FIVE GRATITUDES

[I'm repeating this post because I'm still in the throes of a dose of flu. Had one in December, now this one in January. And that's all for me, thank you very much. Hope you're well. Till we meet again, you can think about being grateful.]

Some time has passed since I expressed--in public, that is--my personal gratitudes. Every night I do so privately--giving thanks for people, activities, books, music, you-name-it. Today I want to share five different ways that Life gives me occasions to be grateful.

1--PEOPLE

Ask anybody--I am not a people person. "The more the merrier" has never been one of my goals in life, and if I said it, it had to be a slip of the tongue. There's a memorable Peanuts episode in which Linus says he'd like to be a doctor. His sister Lucy says, "You can't be a doctor. You have to love mankind." And Linus retorts, "I love mankind! It's people I can't stand!"

Now before you start off on the wrong foot and fall on your face, you have to understand that I'm not one of those who says I can't stand people. I like people--individuals with whom I can visit and come away feeling it's been a good encounter. People in large numbers? Unh-unh. Overwhelming.

My favorite people share some of the same traits--they enjoy life; they want to make things better for the less fortunate among us; they do interesting things--like make quilts or birdhouses, or teach others (all ages) how to do something. Naturally I'm drawn to people who like to do the same things I do--read, write, paint, cook, sew--but it's never about competition; we like to talk about what we do, appreciate each other's efforts, and share other things in our lives.

2--BOOKS

What have books done for me? They've taught me how to reason, to think, to figure things out. Yes, that includes the mysteries and the women's fiction that I still read.

I'm now halfway through the first Nancy Drew mystery. (Stay in the buggy--this is not a joke.) A few years ago my Kroger store had the first three ND books, and I think they were a dollar each, but don't quote me. I bought all three, thinking there'd be more to come, but alas, the first three were all they got, and the book/magazine section has now dwindled to one set of shelves squashed in between cards and seasonal stuff. Anyway--I was drawn to the Nancy Drew books because many decades ago I'd read most of them. And since that time, I've heard a number of mystery and romantic suspense writers say they got the bug to write because they read the Nancy Drew books when they were young. (I suppose guys read the Hardy Boys; my kids read both series.) I wanted to get reacquainted.

Books not only educate or entertain, they provide a place (sometimes a safe place) for the reader to go when things get too tough out here in the so-called real world. Ask any reader why he/she reads the same books again and again. You'll get different answers, but I'm willing to bet the farm one of them will be "to go to a place where I feel good."

3--FOOD

Goes without saying, we need food. I'm grateful for all levels of food:

  --plain old sustenance, nothing fancy, just tasty and plentiful

  --interesting dishes, probably new to me, especially from other cultures (the picture at the right is an Italian frittata)

  --gourmet goodies, because I will probably never make them myself

  --gluten-free foods, which have helped me enjoy many of my favorite things without unhealthy results

  --home-grown, home-cooked, reminding me of my growing-up years

  --recipes from my family, from my friends, from magazines, newspapers, cookbooks, and blogs

4--HELP

I may not be the most sociable person you'll ever meet, but neither am I a hermit. (Hermitess?) If I need help, I know how to ask for it; I am not shy about that, though I always remember my parents' rule: "Don't impose." However, I won't suffer unnecessarily just so I can follow a stricture that was important to my parents.

Sometimes help comes without my asking. A week ago my neighbor brought me a grocery shopping bag stuffed full of cleaned rhubarb from her little patch. "Do you like rhubarb?" I nearly fell down and kissed her feet. Do I like rhubarb? I love rhubarb. I adore rhubarb. Once we settled that and I had the bag safely inside my house, she said she'd give me some roots to start my own patch. After that came the offer of strawberry plants. She didn't offer to plant them for me, but I had a live-in gardener who did that for me.

Another example: For my birthday I received a hand-painted card from a friend at my church. We hadn't seen each other for quite a time (COVID, remember?), so I texted her to thank her for the beautiful painting. She said she's taken up painting now that her hands are less agile for playing the organ. My ears pricked up--painting? As in watercolor? Yes, indeed, she said. We now meet about once a month at her house for paint-and-chat time. We share our watercolor books and other resources (she's introduced me to some great artists on YouTube). 

5--COMMUNICATION

I'm not housebound for any reason other than my own resistance to going out in (1) hot/humid weather, (2) cold/damp weather, (3) rain/stormy weather, and/or (4) because I have a project going that needs constant attention, whatever the weather. (Quilts are usually in category #4.)

So, being a homebody (sounds so much better than housebound, right?), I can keep in touch in various ways:

  --least favorite, telephone; I prefer to see the person I'm talking to

  --next best if in-person isn't available, is text or email, for short communications

  --best for in-depth is the letter--hand-written if my fingers still work; typed if not

  --blog--pretty much one-way communication; I visit many blogs for information

  --Facebook provides me with photos, etc. from my family and friends; I don't spend much time with FB because it becomes an unending event; I've discovered my time is not infinite

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There you have it--five gratitudes that guide my life. Sometimes I focus on one and give it my full attention; other times, I find myself nodding and smiling while I'm in the throes of whatever it is and wherever I am, recognizing its value and giving thanks. Fleeting, but heartfelt.

If you made it this far, I hope you strayed into thoughts about your own reasons to be grateful. If you think you don't have any, or many, try writing them down. You'll surprise yourself.

Until next time,

Thursday's Child

WALKING THE NEIGHBORHOOD

Our restored library

[Please welcome Elisabeth Palmer, guest blogger today.] 

I’m a destination walker—I walk somewhere to get something.

New Year’s Day I walked to the Chinese take-out place my mom loves. It was 15 minutes there and 15 minutes back.

Today, I walked to the local library. It’s 10 minutes there, 10 minutes back. Add another 10 minutes to return a book and quickly peruse what’s new, and it’s 30 minutes tops.

What did I get?

I got my deepest needs met in the simplest of ways.

I love being out in nature. Whether it’s the mountains or my Midwestern neighborhood, I love seeing which plants are naturally showcased in each season. They have a life of their own and I enjoy watching their cycles as they mirror my own.

I love feeling like I’m a part of my town. As I walked through my neighborhood to downtown I could see the things that make living here such a joy—the people take pride in their homes and yards, the arts district, and the classic post office and the historic library.

I love simple, healthy food. If I’m not up to cooking, I’m glad I’m within walking distance of some healthy fare and ingredients.

Today, the only thing missing was a sense of community.

As I was walking home from our lovely library—restored by the community after a devastating fire—I was thinking about how nice it would be if the people in my neighborhood had a reason to walk past their neighbors’ houses and visit on their way to and from the grocery store that used to be on every corner.

About that time in my walk a man got out of his truck with coffee cup in hand and said “hello!”

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When I went to pick up our take out on New Year’s Day, there was another couple in the vestibule that mentioned The Christmas Story scene about going out for Chinese. I told them my sister had just called and recited the same episode.

We need that corner grocery store. We need community. We need each other.

Makes me wonder about the little white house at the end of the street that used to be a grocery. Maybe the city will start using these hubs as places for people to get their milk and eggs and butter and potatoes.

P.S.  I did pick up a new novel for my mom—whether she likes it or not is still to be determined. Just like you cannot live without a community, you cannot be without a good book to read.

Guest Blogger:  Lis Palmer

FUN AT HOME ON A DANG' COLD DAY!

Unless you're descended from tribes that originated in the Far North and retain all the attributes that ensure your ability to thrive in cold-cold-cold temps, you are probably like us here in Northeast Indiana. We're content to stay inside on what we call a "Dang' Cold Day."

We've been steadily at work on household adjustments:

--moving furniture from one room to another

--moving furniture from one side of a room to another side

--moving everything in the path of the furniture so it can be relocated

--cleaning the place the furniture is going to

--cleaning the place the furniture has recently resided

[Already you can see that this is not for the faint-hearted. You will need regular encouragement. More on this below.]

Besides Moving and Cleaning, you will no doubt discover there is Sorting.

Sorting happens because furniture that has storage capabilities tends to have those storage places filled, sometimes to the brim, sometimes beyond. 

--As an aside: I don't think I've ever seen an empty drawer except in a piece of furniture newly delivered by the furniture store.

Sorting, if you're not extra vigilant, can take on a life of its own. As an example: suppose the drawer you're going to empty and re-purpose holds a number of old greeting cards (sent to you), letters from friends (hand-written, stamps that cost less than a quarter apiece), and a few odds and ends like ball-point pens (now defunct), pencils too small to save (but you did anyway), and possibly some unused postage stamps (really? stamps used to be that cheap?).

Okay--that's your assignment, sort the above drawer. Hint: Treat this like a story problem in math: how do you reduce the number of items in the drawer to (a) empty it entirely, or (b) make it usable for adding more items? Give your reasons for each possibility. [You have 15 minutes to solve this problem, then 10 minutes to actually do it. Go!]

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Encouragement - You can do some things ahead of time to help you succeed in your task(s). You can make signs--simple ones, handwritten, on scrap paper left from a printing project. Try these on for size:

     "You can do it!"

     "Remember--this was all your own idea!"

     "Well begun is half done." [Uh, maybe, maybe not.]

Rewards - Did I mention you'll need rewards? I didn't? Well! Try these:

     Coffee and a cookie at mid-morning.

     Lunch out - or have it delivered.

     Fruit, cheese, and crackers in late afternoon.

          [Wine with cheese NOT recommended before finishing the job.]

When you finally call a halt, call for dinner to be delivered, or whip something out of the freezer to be restored in the oven.

While you're waiting for dinner to appear (one way or another), take a shower or a bubble bath (with or without that glass of wine). Put on a clean outfit you like, just so long as you can't clean, move furniture, or store boxes in the attic in that attire.

Salute yourself--"Well done!"--and relegate all the rest to be done to Another Day.

Remember: Sufficient unto the day is the moving, cleaning, and sorting thereof. (paraphrased from The Sermon on the Mount)

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Now, wasn't that more fun than shivering and cussing the cold weather and watching Friends reruns for the 42nd time? Okay, even if it wasn't fun, it was certainly more productive and trust me, you'll be happier (sometime in the future) that you actually did the moving, cleaning, and sorting. Or whatever.

Stay in. Stay warm. Be kind. Be happy.

Blessings,

Thursday's Child

 UN-FOLD-ING

Unfolding is my word for a new year. My daughter and I have been thinking about how events of the past year have happened--some were generated by ourselves, some came about through the actions of others (nearby, far away), some seemed to have occurred by spontaneous combustion or by a current Big Bang or some other natural-or-not activity.

In a wait-and-see world such as we seem to be occupying at the moment, we've learned not to count on anything happening as it used to happen. Here are a few examples:

--appointments - messages left on our machine: "please call our office, we will have to reschedule the appointment for Judith that was set for ___." I call--no answer; or have to leave a message on their answering machine; or have to negotiate a date and time (in the unknown future) likely to work.

--instructions for medical tests - I still have the voice mail of the one that begins, "My name is Regina" followed by a very long recitation of something I think might be English, but is probably Spanish. I eventually discern "Dr. ___" and "echo" so I know this is a valid call--my cardiologist's office is giving me info so I can schedule a routine echocardiogram. There is a phone number at the end--completely clear, slowly spoken (same voice), and repeated. Also there is one sentence that stands out: "this must be done by January 22nd." So far I haven't called for an appointment; I've had a bout of flu that lasted from Christmas Day to current date. I'm waiting until I feel strong enough for the negotiations that will undoubtedly accompany my call.

--postcard reminder - this is the last one I'll mention. It came from the Bureau of Motor Vehicles and advised me that I will need a proper vision test to renew my operator's license--call my eye doctor for an appointment--and the doctor is to use Form No. ABCXYZ321. If I've had an eye exam in the last 30 days it is still valid. Naturally I got the card after my eye exam has now expired (per the BMV). A phone call to my eye doctor reveals that they do not have the official form--I should contact my local BMV office.

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We've pretty well determined that mine isn't the only life going around like a pig on stilts. And not wishing to malign any person or entity, we're also pretty much agreed that it's really nobody's fault, exactly--it's just the state of things in the world in which we live at present.

So, you ask, why the word unfolding?

Well, now that life events appear less likely to follow the laws of reason . . . and logic has run off and hidden herself (who knows why) . . . we are adopting a new way to operate in a world that's going, going, gone off the rails. (Or so it seems.) The new way to deal with this is simple:

     Stand Still and Watch It Unfold

When old laws of action and reaction no longer work, and when trying to figure them out only results in a mangled brain, why not stop and look and listen? Then act. If possible.

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I've never been a huge fan of science fiction, but I have read a few authors I liked. And it occurs to me that we are now in the midst of somebody's fictional idea of an alternate universe. Yes, there's still gravity. Yes, we can see the sun-moon-stars-planets. Yes, we observe the change of seasons up here in Northeast Indiana--though we're not sure, currently, which season we're in (but that's another story).

Can I change any of what's happening? I have a sneaking suspicion that I cannot. 

And that's how standing still and watching life unfold came into being.

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I don't recommend this approach for everyone. For one thing, this response to life requires a greater amount of patience than most people have. Than I have, many days. This response means letting go of what we expect. And it will very likely mean accepting what we've always thought of as Unacceptable.

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I hope you find a word that helps you through the jungle of days ahead of you. Be sure to share what you find. You may help someone else.

And here's a final thought: 

     When you get ready to say something, ask yourself: are my words kind?

Blessings,

Thursday's Child