SPINNING OFF . . .

Having just nearly confused myself with spin-off, sequel, sidequel, not to mention crossover, and not to be sidetracked by reboot or remake--as I say, now that I'm almost but not quite completely confused, I think I want to talk about a spin-off. My own, that is.

Take this saying: "Bloom where you're planted." Possibly Biblical, though not in those exact words, but the meaning is hanging around several passages of Scripture. This post is not about blooming where one is planted.

When I spun away from blooming where I was planted, I came to what happened after I moved on. (You may remember that my childhood was one of moving and moving on--17 times in my first 20 years.) 

Some people, I'm told, re-invent themselves each time they shift to a new place. 

• I'm grateful I didn't have awareness enough to do that because by now I wouldn't know myself.

Others take the old self (if you are't offended by that term) wherever they go--in some locales it fits right in; in others, it's the square peg in the round hole; in still others, the old self never actually enters into the life of the new arena.

Being a kid during all those years of uprootedness, I didn't have time to settle into one personality or another, nor to explore possibilities; time passed too quickly for experimentation and assessment.

But I did learn a couple of things:

• First, so long as I had school, I knew who I was, deep down. Being a student was more than a role to play, it was an identity I could wear like a second skin.
• Second, if I paid attention, there was always something I could learn about the place, the people, and (ultimately) about myself in each new location. This was a subtle thing that only became evident in later years. A lot of the learning was by osmosis.

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So, what did I learn?

• How to deal with different kinds of people. Not always a happy lesson. In southern Missouri I attended a one-room country school, circa 1951. A "city kid" like me (their assigned tag) couldn't understand what their lives were like. My book-learning was nothing to their life experience as farm kids. Good grades pleased the teacher, but made me few friends. 
• Feeling like a very small fish in an outsize pond. In a city the size of Wichita, KS (about 300,000 population in the 1950s), my small town self was again out of place; city bus schedules and routes were a mystery, going to six or more different classes with six different teachers in a single day was unheard of, and a racially integrated student body was like going onto a movie set every day.
• Going back to my hometown when I was entering high school. It wasn't as traumatic as I'd expected. I remembered quite a few of the students from my few years in the local elementary school. Some blooming began.
• Most of all: I learned that I wasn't much different from the kid who left home and lived in various places in the Midwest. I was still an only child, living with my mother and stepfather. I was one of 26 first cousins on my mother's side and one of 11 on my dad's. School was still my favorite place, though the public library ran a close second. And going to classes, learning new things, was where I felt most like myself.

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Now for the next step: What does a person do with that new self-knowledge?

I became a perpetual student, until teaching beckoned. Then it became blindingly obvious that all sorts of things can be taught--including choir music, knitting, sewing, letter writing . . . . And another blindingly obvious thought: I could still be a student! Keep on learning! Explore beyond the boundaries of my life!

I've often wondered what my life would have been had I not moved around a lot, met people from backgrounds different from my own, tried on new experiences. That knowledge is beyond me, but I've a motto that has served well over the years: "Nothing is ever lost, ever wasted." One small example: the characters in the stories I write come from years of gathering intel in move after move, state after state.

In a sense, I'm able to become all those people just by living in their stories.What I haven't experienced myself, I make up! That's what fiction is all about.

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My question for you--what have you learned when you moved on and bloomed in a new place?

Til next time,

Blessings from

Thursday's Child

 BALANCING ACT

You're probably saying, "This isn't new. Everybody knows practically everything in life is about balancing stuff--juggle this, try not to lose that, etc."

Don't you just LOVE those "everybody knows" generalizations? They're often so true. And, so not true.

Let's look at the true part first.

From my own experience, but not going back to infancy, I recall having to choose--if I wanted to take shorthand and typing in high school, I had to give up some other class. Once I'd wheedled my way into taking "five solid subjects," I could do both shorthand and typing, along with whatever else I had in mind. As I recall, my junior year it was French, first being offered at our school that year. (Latin and Spanish had always been there, but they didn't call my name.) Balancing was beginning.

After high school--college years, first time around; again choose courses, try not to have all of them on the same days if I wanted to keep some free time to study or do homework. And then finances came into it--a little part-time job at a tiny grocery store near campus, or typing stuff for professors on campus, almost anything that could be done for a few bucks a week, so long as it wasn't baby-sitting. (I never did get the hang of baby-sitting; my children will attest to that.) More balancing.

So, on to marriage--children--preserving sanity: all a balancing act. Plus, somewhere in there I was encouraged by my mother-in-law to finish my degree; so I signed up for a course, then two, and finally managed to emerge with a B.A. from Indiana University. With four kids at home and a husband who worked all day. Balancing ramped up sharply.

If you haven't tried keeping a marriage and a family going while conjugating French verbs and writing "learned" essays about Elizabethan poets, I must warn you: as Betty Davis said about aging, "It ain't for sissies."

But here I am, writing to you, lo, these many years later, having survived somehow (by hook or by crook, as Granny used to say), to let you know it's possible to balance your life events and not go under for the third time.

Well, that's enough about life being entirely a balancing act. Now let's look at the flip side.

What is not part of the balancing act? Or to put it another way, what can't be turned off, put aside temporarily, or set in stone?

Okay, science being what it is, and technology having got into the act, the nay-sayers are probably right in saying "practically everything" is a balancing act. But I offer up some examples of what is not part of the balancing act:

• our genetic make-up may not be set in stone, but it's pretty much here to stay; I can't turn off the fact that my blue-eyed parents made it virtually impossible for me to have brown eyes; nor can I modify whichever genetic code my grandmother gave me so I can be taller. The best I can do are contact lenses and high-heeled shoes.
• once a pregnancy is in evidence, it can't be set aside temporarily so the child can be born at a more convenient time. (Ask anybody--is there really a more convenient time?)
• and at least at this time, we can't live forever--our time on planet Earth is limited. We're not even allowed to know the day and hour of our departure. We just have the ticket to ride. (But don't discount science and technology--they landed people on the moon; it may just be a matter of time.)

You'll have some of your own, and I'll bet they're dillies.

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How do we do it, you ask?

All depends on how deeply you're invested in what you want.

In order to finish my degree, I had to let go of some "hafta" tasks: not every meal was made from scratch; baked goods appeared mostly at birthday time, and kids learned how to make a nourishing meal for themselves. Laundry was done on specific days, which changed with my class schedule. These modifications didn't always go as planned, but they made it possible for me to read a 700-page 19th century novel, in French, so I could pass the exam that week.

It became a matter of "keep your eyes on the prize."

Then when we had school vacations, I could sew or cook or bake; I could even not read unless I wanted to, and if I wanted to read, it wouldn't be anything that appeared on any college reading list--it would be a modern mystery novel, all about clever detectives solving problematic crimes in fascinating places.

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I'm still not very good at the balancing act, even though I've been at it for more decades than I ever thought I'd attain.

My check register and I currently don't agree with the bank, nor with each other.

I've let my sewing machines waste away for lack of use so I could spend more time painting pictures.

My current writing project stalled and finally stopped altogether--though I can't figure out why it broke down. I don't want to shove it to the side of the road and leave it to rust because I think it can be repaired, but still--

So though I may not be good at balancing, I do believe in it. There are no prizes, since it's not a competition. There are no awards for best balancing--but you do get to keep your sense of well-being when it works out. 

Best wishes for balancing challenges to come!

Blessings,

Thursday's Child

 PROVERBIAL WISDOM

[I'm reposting this essay for two reasons: first, because I've been distracted from anything creative by the furnace (hot water boiler system) that, like the old gray mare, ain't what she used to be. In fact, she threw a shoe, and is limping along while the nice people at my local HVAC bring me a replacement. The other reason? I can use some words of encouragement provided by folks whose thoughts got saved and passed along to those of us who came years later.]

Nearly everyone grew up with proverbs. They might have been old sayings, or folk wisdom, or a family proverb, but they fit into Aldous Huxley's definition:  Proverbs are always platitudes until you have personally experienced the truth of them.

 I grew up with a whole boatload of cultural proverbs, such as:

--Haste makes waste.

--A stitch in time saves nine.

--Ignorance is bliss.

--Don't cry over spilt milk.

--You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

--You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

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Some of these were meant to make me feel better about something I'd experienced in my young life, like crying over spilt milk. (I don't remember spilling any, but probably did.)

I liked the concept of a stitch in time saving nine. Prevention was better than extra work.

Others didn't make sense--and still don't, such as ignorance is bliss. Nope. Don't get it.

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For your enjoyment, I've collected a handful of proverbs from other cultures:

It’s in the shelter of each other that the people live.

                IRISH PROVERB

 

Never mind snows and storms for the sake of a friend.

                AZERBAIJANI PROVERB

 

One minute of patience, ten years of peace.

                GREEK PROVERB

 

Deeds are fruits. Words are leaves.

                ENGLISH PROVERB

 

If someone sweats for you, you change his shirt.

                HAITIAN PROVERB

Four eyes see more than two.

                ENGLISH PROVERB

 

Deal with the faults of others as gently as your own.

                CHINESE PROVERB

If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.

                AFRICAN PROVERB

 

If the wind will not serve, take the oars.

                LATIN PROVERB

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In our current pandemic climate, may we find wisdom, and encouragement, and perhaps even a little diversion in the words and thoughts of other cultures.

Until next time . . . be safe, be kind to one another, be at peace.

Blessings from

Thursday's Child

WELCOME, AUTUMN!

Here she is! Autumn promenading the avenues and lanes in the earliest of her colors. In another few weeks, we'll be treated to the full wardrobe--and if we look carefully, we'll discover every color in the rainbow. Or maybe in the Crayola big box!

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To celebrate Autumn's arrival, we'll look at a full week of Things That Happen(ed)--quotations and information gleaned from A Pilgrim's Almanac, by Edward Hays (Forest of Peace Books, Inc. - 1989)

Today - September 22nd - Birthday of the Ice Cream Cone!

1903 - Italo Marchiony (Italian immigrant) applies for a patent for his new creation--cold sweet ice cream served in its own edible container. No throw-away there!

It's also the Autumnal Equinox in the northern hemisphere--but don't expect the daylight hours to be evenly divided; my weather app reports we've still a dozen minutes to go to the balance point.

Tomorrow - September 23rd - another thought about the Equinox

"In 'flat-world' terms, on the day of the Equinox the sun rises over the earth due east and sets due west; day and night are of equal length." I like the concept of a round earth.

September 24th - another invention

Invention of False Teeth, about 500 BC. "The Empress Josephine, Napoleon's wife, often carried a rose which she would raise to her lips when smiling. Very sensitive about her bad teeth, she used the rose to hide them."

September 25th - an adage

Festival of Giving Advice - Reflect on this saying of Confucius:

"Do not teach a ripe person, for it is a waste of person. Do not teach a person who is not yet ripe; it's a waste of words."

September 26th - Birthday Boy

Johnny Appleseed born this day in 1774. Known for planting apple trees across America, he was "revered by Native Americans who looked upon him as a medicine man. Besides his planting, his practice was to tear out a page from the bible he carried . . . a page containing a passage which fit the situation ofe the family with whom he spent the night."

September 27th - New Horizon Day

"Vasco Nunez de Balboa, Spanish conquistador, became the first European to see the Pacific Ocean"--this day in 1513.

September 28th - Feast of St. Wenceslaus

He was "Duke of Bohemia, the national hero and patron saint of Czechoslovakia." Murdered by his stepbrother at the door of a church he was about to enter. (I prefer to think of him as the Good King Wenceslaus, though that might be a different person.)

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There you have it--the first week of Autumn. This may be the winding-down of the year, but that doesn't have to be a negative thing. Season follows season--spring brings new life, summer is the growing season, autumn sees our harvest, and winter allows us to rest. Enjoy the day before you!

Blessings from Thursday's Child

 SING-SPIRATION

Several decades ago--my, how time flies!--we had songfests, often in churches, that we called Singspirations. We can take the name literally-they were songs, sung/played by everyone in attendance, to inspire us to greater joy, deeper faith, and a recognition that we were, indeed, blessed.

Last week here at Thursday's Child, you were treated to a somewhat somber essay on how life can go wonky on us--sometimes. I hope you grasped the idea that this wasn't a permanent state of being for me, nor was it a deep-down-dark sense of Why Bother. Nope, not at all. It was only Sometimes that some of us have to deal with the less-than-joyful.

Today we're headed up the mountain--for the past week I've been visited in the night by songs, songs, songs--upbeat, happy, good advice--you name it. So, herewith, some of my nighttime visitors:

HIGH HOPES

Written by James Van Deusen, lyrics by Sammy Cahn.

It appeared in the 1959 film A Hole in the Head, sung by Frank Sinatra and child actor Eddie Hodges. The song won an Oscar.

The upbeat message: "Everyone knows an ant can't move a rubber tree plant, but he has High Hopes, high apple-pie-in-the-sky hopes . . ." And at the end of each verse, yep, there goes another rubber tree plant.

I especially like the line "Everyone knows . . . ." If we let ourselves believe what everybody "knows" then we may be  setting ourselves up to fail. But if we ignore the everybodies--who knows? We might do fabulous things!

KEEP YOUR SUNNYSIDE UP

Lyrics by Johnny Hamp

"Keep your sunnyside up, hide the side that gets blue." And the positive spin: "If you have nine sons in a row, baseball teams make money, you know!"

I don't know about this one--maybe it's not always a good idea to hide the side that gets blue. I mean--if you're having a bad day, it might be healthier to acknowledge it. You don't have to shove it in people's faces, but I can tell you from experience, people who try too hard to be cheerful all the time come across as fake.

WHISTLE A HAPPY TUNE

From the 1956 film The King and I - written by Rodgers and Hammerstein.

Sung by the female lead (played by Deborah Kerr) who is explaining to a young boy that if you whistle a happy tune, you can fool other people into thinking you're not afraid--and you just might fool yourself as well. Hmm, fooling yourself--maybe it was just to get the rhyme. Think about it--there's afraid and not afraid. I've always found it hard to pretend I'm not afraid. I'll have to think about that one some more.

WHISTLE WHILE YOU WORK

From Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Written by Frank Churchill and Larry Morey. This was a 1937 animated fantasy film. It's the only one outside the 1950s era.

The message sounds like something my mother would've said: If you emphasize the fun rather than the monotony of a task, it'll go faster. (Worth a try).

YOU GOTTA HAVE HEART

From the 1955 film Damn Yankees. Conflicting attribution given: written either by Adler and Ross or Style and Cahn. But the message is the same: Whatever the odds are that you're a loser, never mind that, just remember, you got heart. And keep on keepin' on!

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And we can't leave without mentioning Bing and Rosemary singing "Count Your Blessings." White Christmas, 1954.

Best advice I've found for insomnia: "If you're worried and you can't sleep, just count your blessings instead of sheep, and you'll go to sleep, counting your blessings." Thank you, Irving Berlin--better than a sleeping pill any night.

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Until I did the research, I hadn't remembered all those songs came from the 1950s. And there was probably a good reason for that timing: We had been through World War II--we were in or just getting out of Korea--the Cold War was constantly in the news--America was trying to move on. What better way to encourage our can-do attitude than putting those songs in films that were popular.

Yes, we were a generation that looked for a happy ending. Might not always get it, right? But looking for it and striving for good things--that's not a bad way to live.

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Hope you have your "happy songs," gleaned from years of listening to records and radio (remember those?); watching movies (now available for free on some channels); and maybe working with groups that like to sing.

Till next time, whistle a tune, or hum if you can't whistle, or sing if that's your thing . . . make a joyful noise! 

Blessings,

Thursday's Child

 SOMETIMES . . .

[It's season-changing time, and my mood has darkened, along with the early mornings. As I reread this post from 2017, I could find a little bit of comfort. Hope you do, too.]

If you're in need of an uplift today, you might want to change your dial to another blog. As August segues into the shorter days of autumn, I find myself meandering around in deeper thoughts, such as:


- Sometimes . . . you don't need to leap out of bed just because the alarm rang.
What would happen if you hit the SNOOZE button and gave yourself 10 more minutes to prepare to meet the day? [The danger here is that you can hit SNOOZE time after time.]

- Sometimes . . . your greatest need is your own health.
Pushing yourself again and again beyond your normal limits may not be a good thing. Is the committee meeting going to fail because you aren't there? Will the office shut down because you need a mental health day? [We're not talking excuses here--we're looking at our own health.]

- Sometimes . . . another person's need is greater than yours.
Ah, there's the rub. How do I assess someone else's need? Is it a 10 today? Or merely a 4? Perhaps only a 2. Forget the numbers. Look at what's being asked of you--a few minutes on the phone; a cup of coffee at the shop where you can talk without being interrupted; a helping hand because nobody else will do it; or a request for prayer.

- Sometimes . . . life is totally unfair--day after day.
You have arthritis. Your hearing is rapidly declining. Your appetite up and left you and you're losing weight your doctor is unhappy about. Your dog has to be put down. Your neighbor makes racket long after your normal bedtime (say, 10 PM). Or your family members are so wrapped up in their own problems they don't call/email/text. And if they do, they vent. [Hard to see a ray of sunshine in this scenario, isn't it? This is when I scrounge around for one thing--just one!--to be grateful for.]


- Sometimes . . . you just need to listen--seriously listen.
Not every appeal for help requires you to do something specific about it. Listening, really taking it in, is doing something. [You're not even required to remember what you heard. Just be an ear.]

- Sometimes . . . all you can do is cry.
When it all gets to be too much, have a good weep. Letting the valves open can be a great cleansing of overloaded emotions. Or if the hurt and grief are too deep for tears, write about it--talk to yourself or the person you grieve for or to God--put it on paper. Later you can shred the pages, because they've done their part in allowing you a place to pour out your feelings.

- Sometimes . . . all you can do is laugh.
When it's too much for a good cry, laugh! There are still some things in my life that haven't got to the laughing stage, but a great many have. [You may recall the hard-boiled eggs on the kitchen ceiling episode. I can laugh, now.]

- Sometimes . . . all you can do is walk away. You can't fix it. Maybe nobody can but God.
This is probably the hardest of all. We need courage to admit that we can't "fix" something--that the only thing we can do is express our caring, if that's possible, and pray for relief.

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You were warned--this isn't a feel-good post. But then, Life isn't always a feel-good place to live, is it? Sometimes . . . we just have to grit our teeth and get on with things.

Have a blessed week.

HELLO, SEPTEMBER!

 Up here in my neighborhood--and surrounding counties--school has started, and some students have been in classrooms (really and truly present in body) for three weeks or maybe more.

So! School's in session, it's time for a quiz! Ready? Get your pencils and paper out. You have as long as you need to finish. Go!

• name 3 things you love to do in September
• name 3 things you'd rather not have to do in September
• list 3 places you like to go in September
• list 3 places (if money were no object and travel was cheap and easy) you'd like to visit this month
• what are 3 foods you associate with September?
• find 3 objects that define September for you
• if you're a crafter, make something that's definitely about September
• if you're not a crafter, find a picture of something that looks like September
• take a September walk and identify 3 trees that haven't lost their leaves or flowers that are still blooming
• what colors do you associate with September? 

[Some of these won't get done on your quiz paper, so make notes for crafting and a walk.]

That's it! When you finish, fold your paper in half lengthwise, write your name on the outside, and put it away some place safe. Take it out and look at it some day.

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This is my favorite kind of quiz--there are no wrong answers! There's no letter grade! No competition! And--sorry to say--no prize from me. But that's a good thing, too. Because you gave yourself the gift of finding good things in a new month, things you might not have remembered without a prompt or two.

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September in my town means classic car festival over the Labor Day weekend (and beyond). Then the county fair at the end of the month, when the weather is sometimes so wet and cold that folks huddle in their down jackets as they promenade the midway.

For me, September was, and always will be, the start of school. So I try to learn something new each year, beginning in the fall. This year it's new techniques in painting watercolors. I'm an eternal beginner in the art, and love every minute of it.

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If you forgot to change your calendar to a new month, do that now. Study the picture (if you have a calendar with a new pic each month)--note the special dates (we have 3 birthdays in our family)--and look forward to good things to come.

Blessings,

Thursday's Child

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