DIY AND SELF-HELP

[Clearly, the major shutdowns and onerous restrictions that visited us during the beginning of COVID have been either lifted or adjusted. Mostly lifted, I'm happy to say. Yet, this post from 2022 with its references to those days of "virtual life" still has validity for me. Maybe it's because I became even more involved in doing-it-myself, rather than relying on others to do it, whatever "it" was, for me. Or maybe it's knowing I'm now three or four years older. Or maybe I just like doing things myself. Sometimes. If you've moved on 'way beyond where I am, you may have given up the DIY approach to life. If so, you can read the following with a smile of contentment.]

If you lived through The Great Depression (1929-1941, approximately), you have a working knowledge of DIY (Do It Yourself). That working knowledge has very likely been with you all your life.

Think about it: unless you have a bevy of servants and hired help doing everything for you, some parts of your life have to be done by--guess who?--YOU. That's Do It Yourself, at its simplest.

Nowadays, DIY refers to all those things we used to hire done: plumbing, wiring, landscaping, housework (including dusting), cooking, auto mechanics (oil changes and such), laundry and ironing (yes, Virginia, some folks still iron clothing and other items). Okay. That's enough listing.

I have to confess: I did not live through the Depression. But my parents did, and my aunts and uncles, some of my older cousins, and my grandparents. So those who grew up in the time I did can call ourselves Second Generation Depression Survivors. We were given a front-row seat in the drama of doing things ourselves--making Life work, making do or doing without, finding answers to questions we never thought we'd ask. 

Such as: how can I have a new dress for Easter/the prom/my wedding? In the so-called Good Old Days (when it seemed everybody had money to spend), I would go to the Best Dress Shop, find a nice lady pleased to help me spend oodles of boodle on the absolutely most divine dress for my special day.

Once DIY set in, my options were limited: wear something I already had (unsuitable)--borrow something from a friend (I had no sisters)--not go to the event (unthinkable)--make it myself (my mother didn't sew). So, you guessed it, I did it myself--made my own dress (with new fabric, not salvaged from something in the attic), and wore it, wonky seams and all.

That was during my teen years. Once I'd learned to sew in 4-H, I bought fewer clothes; good thing, too, because I had a very limited allowance, no job during high school, and no rich auntie to "help out" when I needed cash.

[Aside: I won't claim that all this deprivation made me a better person. It did make me a more careful person. After all, if I spent my money on something that didn't last, there was no more money to spend on a better item to replace it.]

You get the idea.

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Next: enter Self-Help. Books, magazines, newspaper articles--and later on, TV shows. (Nowadays it's YouTube and podcasts.) 

You could find out how to do absolutely anything you ever wanted or needed to know. Self-Help, though, unlike DIY, tended to gear itself more toward relationship issues--so if I looked hard enough, I could find out:

• how to make friends
• how to get along with siblings (never had to buy that one)
• how to become more confident
• how to be a good leader
• how to play bridge--and win (never read that one either)
• how to study
• how to improve memory skills

On and on. The how-to books are still being sold: how to write (you name the kind), how to paint (something or other), how to play the piano/violin/zither/kazoo . . . the whole point being--are you ready?--you can Do It Yourself! No teacher necessary. Sit there on your overstuffed sofa and learn anything!

During this continuing time of isolation/shutdown/anxiety & panic, some folks will thrive merely because they can learn to do something, or learn about something, and can keep on keeping on. No teachers necessary. No going outside the house and risk being exposed to a virus. Just turn on the computer and fire up YouTube. Or plug in your ear buds and find the podcast that suits you.

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Like my friend Liz Flaherty who writes very satisfying love stories and women's fiction, I do love full-circle stories. The ending flows perfectly from the beginning. But in this case, I'm not completely sold on the idea that DIY and Self-Help are the way to go. But they're great support systems, when we don't have other options.

Fortunately, DIY has gone 'WAY beyond guys surrounded by every hand-held tool available at Home Depot and gals beavering away at their sewing machines. DIY has long been a part of school classrooms--if you want to see just how far we've come, do a search on DIY Clip Art and see what comes up. (Prepare to be amazed.)

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Even in this isolationist time, due to COVID, learning still goes on--virtually, often, but there's a teacher there, in most cases, leading a class. Even introverts like me want to see someone demonstrating a skill or at least speaking (always seems like he/she is speaking to me, personally). 

Bottom line: We need each other. 

I don't want to abolish DIY or Self-Help. They're lifelines sometimes. They call on our creative natures to get into the act. If you can do it yourself or find a place to explain how it's done, you won't give up. Sometimes, that's enough. But don't forget, another person can help, too.

Blessings,

Thursday's Child

DIY Pizza, anyone?

 LIFE

[Today I want to revisit an old favorite--at least, it's an old favorite of mine. Hope it makes you smile, or laugh, or just nod your head from time to time.]

Life being what it is, as I've said so often before, I (like others) lose track of time, things I need, tasks that should have been done last week, and people.

So today I'm looking at LIFE.

Let's start with song lyrics popular in the 1950s, recorded by The Hi-Lo's:

Life is just a bowl of cherries

Don't take it serious; it's too mysterious
You work, you save, you worry so
But you can't take your dough when you go, go, go

So keep repeating it's the berries
The strongest oak must fall
The sweet things in life, to you were just loaned
So how can you lose what you've never owned?
Life is just a bowl of cherries
So live and laugh at it all

--Lew Brown and Ray Henderson

[If you've never heard this one, look for it on YouTube.]

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Erma Bombeck snagged the popular phrase, "Life is just a bowl of cherries," which had been an old saying when Hector was a pup, and turned it into the title for one of her many humorous books: If Life Is Just a Bowl of Cherries, Why Am I in the Pits?

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Here are some more thoughts on Life:

Peace is the beauty of life. It is sunshine. It is the smile of a child, the love of a mother, the joy of a father, the togetherness of a family. It is the advancement of man, the victory of a just cause, the triumph of truth. Menachem Begin [6^th Prime Minister of Israel]

My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style. Maya Angelou [American poet]

Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain... To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices - today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it. Kevyn Aucoin [American makeup artist]

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I leave you with two important thoughts on how to live our lives:

Remember your dreams and fight for them. You must know what you want from life. There is just one thing that makes your dream become impossible: the fear of failure. Paulo Coelho [Brazilian lyricist & novelist]

Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. Steve Jobs [co-founder of Apple]

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May you not lose track of those things that are important to you!

And--may your Life be blessed!

  FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA

[I'm repeating a post from 2021 because I want us to remember why we celebrate July 4th in our United States of America. We may have a good time, our hearts may swell with pride as our children and grandchildren march in parades, and the best dang barbecue will feed a multitude. And then there's the real reason for it all. Be blessed!]

In five days, the United States celebrates Independence Day. On that day in 1776, men from 12 of the colonies signed a Declaration of Independence from the mother country, England. The official vote in the Continental Congress occurred two days earlier, July 2nd. After that vote, a committee headed by Thomas Jefferson wrote the official Declaration.

John Adams, one of the delegates, had written a letter to his wife, Abigail:

The second day of July 1776, will be the most memorable epoch in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forever more. [from Adams Family Papers, Massachusetts Historical Society]

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The United States celebrates in solemn events and riotous ones, from the serious contemplation of what freedom means to the joy of being able to express our gratitude openly.

However you celebrate--if you do--remember the men who made that possible 247 years ago. And be safe.

 THE SUMMER BLAHS . . . UPDATED FOR 2023

The summer WHAT did you say?

I know, I know . . . it's Summertime! The livin' is easy! (Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong reminded me just the other day.)

Today is the first full day of Summer. The sun's out most of the time, rain isn't on the menu so often now, humidity bops around between comfy and unbreathable. So why, you wonder, am I talking about Summer Blahs?

Here's why:

• school's out--I don't have the structure I had for nine months of the year.
• there aren't any kids my age in the neighborhood to play with
• a lot of regular activities are re-styled for the summer, so I don't have a dependable list to choose from

I'm not really stuck in childhood--but the summer season reminds me that there's a break in the year that signals a different way of living.

And that's not all--even with air conditioning helping my asthmatic breathing, I feel my energy being sucked out of my body every time I step outside. I don't have to step outside at all, if I don't want to. I can empty the mailbox while standing at the open front door. Amazon leaves my book orders near the door so I'm out less than ten seconds. But sometimes--

And gardening--? Not my thing at all! My daughter loves garden work (so do her sibs). Even filling bird feeders apparently comes under the heading of "Gardening--What to Do When," so all I'm required to do is drive to the feed-and-seed store, have the nice people there load up my SUV with mixed seed and black-oil sunflower seed bags, pay them, and drive home. As for the gardening itself--I'm perfecting my role as Encourager and Appreciator. 

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To battle the Summer Blahs, I have a short list of activities (which I can do alone or with help, and which are done indoors--no special equipment required) that keep me from going round the bend:

• painting--trying new techniques as demonstrated on YouTube tutorials, courtesy of full-time artists sharing their expertise
• sewing--finishing a quilt started several weeks (or was it years?) ago
• writing--keeping my daily journal; working on a novella once a week during a dedicated time
• keeping records--every medical person I see wants me to keep track of something; if I thought I was going to live a lot longer, I'd buy a gross of spiral notebooks and the same amount of pens to keep going; or maybe I'd just invest in a paper company, if it paid good returns on my investment
• sorting stuff--a perennial activity--never a favorite--but sometimes it helps me get through summer days when everything else requires too much effort--going through a couple shelves of books to find some to donate can consume a few hours (have to look through the books again, you understand)

I didn't list reading, and I'm sure you noticed that omission. I'm slowly getting back to reading--not sure yet why the interest waned--that's not like me, at all. I did request a book on the Evergreen service, read it and returned it; so, you see, I did read in this month of June. This year I'm browsing books by artists--not so many words to read, but lots of yummy pictures.

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If you have any good ideas for beating Summer Blahs, I'll be glad to entertain them--but remember, I don't like to travel, and crowds aren't my thing (right up there with gardening--see above). In the meantime, I'll have a cup of coffee, read a little about how watercolorists in the UK got famous with their loose style of painting, and contemplate the feeding frenzies of birds at my now-half-full feeders (replenished only a day or two ago).

Enjoy your summer, if it's your thing!

Blessings for all,

Thursday's Child

POSTCARDS FROM . . .

The Lake.

If you live in upstate Indiana, or lower Michigan, or any other place with a lot of lakes in the area, you know what I mean. "We're going to the lake."

"The lake" isn't a specific place. At least, not with capital letters, like Little Lake, or Pretty Lake, or Blue Heron Lake. It's just The Lake. A generic lake, in speech, though it does have a name and a geographic location and water and cabins/cottages/year-round housing, boats, fishing, a marina . . . you know, the lake.

My daughter and I are in Day Five of our joint vacation. I'm taking time off from living in a small city. She's taking time off from her job.

Last Saturday we loaded my SUV with all our essentials. You know what I'm saying--the everyday stuff we're pretty sure, if not certain, that we can't survive without for the next week. Mine included books; journals; notebooks/tablets/Post-It Notes; pens, pencils. And paints. Paints come with their own entourage: easel, watercolor paper, paints in tubes/pencils/sticks, brushes; sketchbook (though I couldn't quite resist buying a new one, very small, when I went shopping at a dollar store for some things we needed).

We also brought clothes, in case you were wondering.

As well, we had a box or two or three of cooking stuff: baking dishes, condiments, potatoes and carrots to roast, a chicken to roast, and probably a bunch of other things. (We didn't know how well-equipped the cottage would be. We decided within five minutes that we could move in with just the stuff we brought and live happily for, oh, say, six months or so. Maybe years.)

Our accommodations include WiFi, so we both have what we need to stay connected to the outside world. (I like to connect with old TV shows, like White Collar and Father Brown.)

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The weather? Glad you asked. Perfect! We had a couple of days with nice sunshine. Then the temp dropped and we're having a couple days of rain. Ideal for staying inside and getting caught up on painting and writing and binge-watching old shows and cooking and eating. We had a chance to get out and find the local places to shop--we're only ten minutes or so from a university town with all types of businesses. I spent a happy half-hour in an office supply store--best of all, it was run by a lovely labradoodle, big, black, shaggy, laid-back, and as loving as any dog could be. His name is Rocky. He greets customers at the door, goes out to make sure they come in, then makes himself available for some doggy-time. (I got my dog fix that morning.)

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This lake has a large number of year-round homes on or near the water. There's plenty of traffic through the area. Our cottage is up on a hill, surrounded by extra land, dozens (really!) of trees, and a view down over the lower cottages to the lake. We've considered trying squatters' rights to the cottage. 

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Next week, Thursday's Child will be back home, watching the grass grow, keeping the a/c running, paying bills, doing laundry. You know the drill.

But for now, we send you greetings from The Lake. Hope you're enjoying where you are.

Blessings,

Thursday's Child

 IT'S A SORTA-KINDA DAY

From time to time I reflect on how Life is going. Is Life moving along at a nice rate, not too fast, not too slow? 

Or is Life taking one detour after another (rather like the ones road construction projects generate in my town)?

Can I compare this day to another day like this, say, a year ago? Or is this year something like last year?

One thing is certain: Life keeps going. Period. Whatever we do/say/want/demand . . . makes no difference. 

So! What I've discovered--and have decided is the best way for me to move forward--is to adjust. Not adjust the day or event or other people--adjust my own attitude toward what is going on in Life.

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Although I'm not looking for scapegoats here, I believe we need to accept that the COVID-19 pandemic made huge changes in our lives.

Sure, you say, we all know about working from home--home schooling--virtual everything:  learning/meetings/celebrations. I had a party for my 80th birthday via Zoom. Didn't have a cast of thousands, but I had lots of folks "drop by" to visit a little and wish me a happy day.

Shopping? Even folks who don't need to take special precautions out in public use the Internet for purchasing, well, practically anything! Order groceries? They'll be delivered, or you can pick them up in the specially marked-out lanes for pick-up. Pharmacy items ready? Buzz the drive-through lane.

Medical stuff? Yes, some visits with physicians can be done by phone or virtually.

Need to learn about something? One of the largest repositories of information resides on YouTube. You can search for the answer to practically any question, from cookery to calculus to cutting down a tree. You can watch demonstrations and tutorials on many forms of art making. All free, unless you want to pay to see your videos without ads. Automotive? Yup, that's covered, too. Or making a quilt. Or repairing/mending your clothes. Or building a--well, you name it. Somebody's got a video showing how to build one of those.

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Hate to admit it, but I sometimes wish we had our "old life" back--before we had a major change in our habits and activities to protect folks from sharing a virus that could be more dangerous than we knew at first.

But, other times, I recognize and accept that this is "life as it now is," with changes that can be either turned to our advantage and work for good, or rejected and bring us misery.

The title of today's post, "It's a Sorta-Kinda Day," reflects my own attitude. I think I'm on a continuum between "old life" and "this life now." I still do some of my old things, and I try to embrace the new. Success varies.

It doesn't mean I'm just sort-kinda living. Definitely not that. Rather, I can't pin down Life as it now is and say "It's like this." Or, "It's not like that." 

If you ask me if I'm happy with Life as it is now, I'd answer, "Sorta-kinda." Yes, I know it's right next door to fence-sitting. But hey--if I'm comfortable there, why should I leave? On the other hand, when I'm ready to get down off the fence, I can do that. And you'll probably be the first to know.

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Blessings,

Thursday's Child

 SEASONING

[We're close to the end of one season and the opening up of another one. I recall writing this post several years ago, and since my late mother-in-law has been on my mind recently, I wanted to reread this one that begins with a memory of her.]

Many years ago my mother-in-law, Vira, was invited to a kitchen shower for the daughter of a friend. Vira was a creative woman--she went to the grocery store and bought a variety of spices for the bride-to-be. Then she asked me to write a little poem to go with the gift.

I was flattered to be asked, but--! I was no poet. My ability to write in rhyme was along the lines of "The cat and the rat sat on the mat." I had to decline the invitation to write a poem.

Then Vira said she had come up with a couple of lines--what did I think of this?
     "Of all the seasons of the year,
     you'll find the most important here."

I thought it was just right, and I told her so.

That little rhyme has stayed with me lo, these many years, and not just because seasoning is important to good cooking. Seasoning, I've come to believe, is what makes life itself worth living.

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If we do a little virtual time travel, we can see how the years and events have seasoned us.

Childhood--if we were fortunate, we had good homes, enough to eat, clothes to keep us warm in winter, and plenty of love. We learned lessons at home, at school, and in the neighborhoods we lived in. Who we would become had its start in these early years.

If we weren't so blessed, what we did experience helped make up our adult self.


Adolescence--teen years are often fraught times. Adults say it's all about hormones. The teens themselves say life is unfair, or nobody understands, or even, why bother? But with guidance and love (always love), teens begin to metamorphose into the adult self. Without the love and caring, though, the process may take longer.

The sufferings of adolescence determine how we see ourselves and others, how we solve problems (or not), how we get through difficult or traumatic times. Lots of seasoning going on in this period.

Early adulthood--many of my generation married shortly after high school, or four years later, after finishing college. If they started their families right away, they soon learned a lot of life lessons--priorities being a biggie. 

As the children grew up and left home, parents found themselves again--all grown up, with a life still ahead of them. A career, perhaps; community involvement; or eventually caregiving to older adults.

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What makes me think about the seasoning that life provides is my refusal to say that I'm aging. (The A word is definitely on my list of no-nos.)  And let me say right here--I'm not pretending that I'm not getting older--moment by moment, actually--no, not pretending that. And I definitely don't want to remain young forever. (This is reinforced every time I hear a bunch of little kids running, hollering, and having a grand old time. My energy levels don't match up! And as we seasoned folk are fond of saying, "There's a reason God gave children to young parents.")

But I like knowing that all the experiences I've had, from childhood on up to yesterday's shopping trip, have in some way altered me--have given me a different perspective--have explained something I never understood before. In short, my experiences have seasoned me.

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When I cook, I seldom use salt, but I do use pepper. If I'm making a recipe that calls for unusual spices--curry powder, cardamom, white pepper, cumin, savory--I welcome a chance to try something new, or that give a little zing to a favorite dish. Fresh herbs often give a lift to a plain lettuce salad. Seasoning keeps meals from drifting into the area of hum-drum.

As most cooks will tells you, a little goes a long way. Season with caution, until you decide you like it.

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We can't always distribute our life experiences cautiously. We take what we get, when we get it.

But we do have the choice of how we react--do we rebel? Reject? Can we "find the good," as Heather Lende says? Can we even embrace the experience, and the life lesson, and come out with more than we expected?

Many choices, with seasoning. Savor yours.