WAIT AND SEE

Three little words . . . "wait and see" . . . .

When I was a little kid, "wait and see" meant, very likely, "no." But it was a softer let-down than the absolute "no" to a question I asked.

As I got older, say, into the teen years, I realized "wait and see" had some value.

--Take a test--wait for the results and see if I've passed.
--Audition for a part in one of the school dramas--wait to see if I was chosen for the part I wanted most.
--Big dance coming up--Christmas formal, prom--wait and see if I get asked to go. (And then wait and see if my parents would let me go. Or if I had enough money to get a nice dress.)

Then there were the young adult years: lots of waiting and seeing during courtship, marriage, birth of children. But this period of time had a different flavor--no more just anticipating an event and then assessing how it turned out. This was more in the line of having multiple possible results. And making more decisions, rather than waiting for things "to work out" by themselves.

If you opted not to go the marriage and kiddies route, you might have considered these:

--Go to college, enroll in a course that will (one hopes) lead to a job. Study, get good grades, if possible; graduate. Look for a job. Keep looking. Possibly take any available employment to have income for a family. 

--Or, take another path, perhaps the military; employment opportunity, educational opportunity, travel. Then get deployed--wait and see where you'll be going. Family left in the states continue the waiting and seeing--keeping the positive view that you will return home.

--Find a cause you want to help with, make your life count by working in the Peace Corps, or work with church missions in faraway places; you don't even have to leave home--look for any size city or town where homeless shelters and other types of facilities work with folks whose lives have taken a turn for the worse.

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The older I grew, the less certain, the less clear-cut, were the possible outcomes of my choices and decisions.

I knew I would retire one day. Retirement was something to look forward to because I had many enjoyable activities that had been put on hold while I worked. So I waited for retirement . . . and what came was a lot of time to fill up. No problem there--I could do many of those activities I'd put on hold: work with a daytime group at the church; do my shopping early in the morning, instead of after work or on Saturday; spend most of a day cooking--results to be frozen for later use; or, spend most of a day putting a quilt together. There's almost nothing you can't finish if you can devote a whole day to it from time to time.

Now I'm less goal driven. My choice of activities doesn't have to lead to a job or a relationship or a path to follow. This blog, for instance, isn't slotted into any particular niche; thinking up possible topics and exploring them keeps my writing muscles working. But I'm not working toward an award or publication in some other medium.

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I don't like exploring the downside of topics here at Thursday's Child, but sometimes we have to acknowledge the less-than-positive in our lives.

Medical tests--very, very few tests can be done in one day and the results known a few hours later. What to do with the waiting time?

Well, there's always panic. Or ranting and pulling our hair. Or complete meltdown. 

These might help us relieve some of the tension and stress of not-knowing, but that's about all that comes out of kicking the furniture or hurling dishes against the wall.

You'll never find me on a list of gardeners--enthusiastic or otherwise--but I can attest that kneeling on the ground with a potted plant and a trowel to add a growing bush to my landscaping came close to being an other-worldly experience. Time ceased to be of any significance. Sun on my shoulders, breeze blowing through my hair, newly turned earth smelling pungent . . . the whole experience was sensory. No room for feeling of any kind.

You can lose yourself in a book, a movie, a walk in the park. Temporary, yes, but helpful.

You can find a friend to help you wait out the time until results come in. There's nothing so lonely as waiting alone for results you're afraid to get.

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Do I still wait and see? Of course. We all do at times. Not everything has a definite outcome right this minute.

But I find not knowing can be a good thing. I'm not crazy about surprises, but I do like a little suspense in my life. Beyond the suspense, though, there's a strengthening that comes when we've successfully navigated a "wait and see" journey. The next one may not be so hard.