LETTING GO

My word(s) to live by for 2020 are:

     LETTING GO

So many ways to analyze that phrase. Letting Go of personal possessions--we like to call it downsizing, but it's really just culling the stuff that's accumulated over the years. We play games with it: make 3 piles--keep, discard, recycle. Or we have a ginormous garage sale (I like to donate my stuff to somebody else's sale). 

One may actually go through boxes, item by item--trust me, this takes months, maybe years--to determine if by some fluke this particular box of Odds & Ends (printed right on the box) would appeal to one of the kids, or grandkids, or greatgrandkids. Or to that, um, unusual guy who lives down the block and always seems to have some project going. 

Some things can be easy to get rid of, maybe even fun. Or at least enjoyable. Take books, for instance, and CDs, and DVDs. My question for these items is this: Did I enjoy it so much I'll read/listen/view it again, and again? If the answer is no, then it goes in the donate box. My library has regular sales of donated items.

Fabric and yarn are a little harder to let go out the door. But I've learned which yarns I know I'll use and what kinds I can pass along to another yarn addict. Fabric--hmm. My tastes rearrange themselves every so often, sporadically, so I may pass over one fat quarter and its mates today, then a week/month/year later fall upon them with cries of joy--they're the Perfect Fabrics for the project I have in mind. I do have relatives, friends, and acquaintances who will be willing recipients of my stash, should I lose my mind one day and shove whole monster totes filled with colorful cottons out the door.

Then there are the physical reminders of times past. So far, these are not in my Letting Go stage:

- letters and postcards from my parents when I was still in elementary school

- letters from good friends who have died or are now living their lives far from me

- photos--even if I don't want them, I can't just chuck them out; anything to do with family will be passed on to my children, who may not have met some of the people in the pics

- gifts, especially hand-made ones, from my children when they were too young to drive to a store and buy something (with their allowances, they wouldn't have been able to buy much). I still have a pottery mortar-and-pestle made by my son in middle school art class, and a candle holder with lid made by his sister in that same art class three years later. They're priceless, as are the batiks and cross-stitch pieces by the two older children.

- I'm almost embarrassed to tell you that I have multiple copies of the mss. I've written; back in the day, we wrote on computers and then printed out on various types of machines. I'm sure I used up several square acres of woodland with the paper used to print my mss. over the 25 years I've been writing novels. Nowadays there's no need to print them out--they're transmitted electronically (if at all) and all queries and other correspondence are mainly through email. These will be easier to let go, if I can get them to a shredding company.

- paper copies of music is another large category for me. I simply don't know who would want my music books. Some may go to the library for its sale--they have a diverse clientele on "Book Sale" days.

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Are you still with me? 

If you are, we have Intangibles that have to be addressed.

Can you let go of:

- a friend who has moved away? Or who is no longer part of your life? Or who has hurt you in some day? Or (sadly) whom you have hurt?

- a house that no longer suits your needs because it's too large, too small, too old and needing constant maintenance; in the wrong place? Too full of memories of a better, or bitter, time?

- the anger you have felt for years against a person you loved, or trusted, or believed in?

- the sadness and grief you still feel for losses throughout your life?

I wish I could give you a sure-fire solution to these issues. I can't help much with them because I have to deal with them myself. Prayer and meditation help tremendously. Journaling about the topic can help some folks. Therapy may be the answer if the situation is so serious that you're unable to live with it.

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Letting Go. . . 

I also wish I could tell you it gets easier the longer you live. That your years of experience and learning and helping others and being helped by them will make Letting Go possible and painless and life-giving. But I can't lie to you.

Mostly we have to learn about Letting Go on our own. Whatever fits our situation--whatever ways we have of coping--how we view ourselves, and others, and our world--will be part of our personal solution to letting go.

One final thought: Letting Go isn't a one-and-done. We're always letting go of something, even if it's only the realization that we'll never get back to our high school weight, shape, strength, and (sigh) wrinkle-free, um, everything. The secret is to keep on Letting Go. There may be something even better around the corner, over the bridge, or down the road.

Have a blessed week!