CHOICES
I was going to call this essay "Opting Out," but that omitted its opposite, "Opting In." So I changed it to "Choices," because that's what Life is all about, after all.
We choose our foods, our clothes, our furniture; we choose our friends, our mates, our mentors; and if we don't make those choices ourselves, somebody else will do it for us and we just might not be real thrilled about what we get.
(If you don't believe all that now, read all the way through and then let me know. Or not, if you'd rather not admit your change of heart/mind. Or, you may not have a change.)
Now comes the "opting" part. Let's take the typical day:
Yes, we flipped the calendar page today--or we will, once we get past our first coffee and a glance at the news. At our house there is a quasi-ritual about changing the calendar, because we have so many.
- Wall calendars - 8 at last count. Some are chosen because their pictures appeal to us; others were gifts; another one was a freebie given to my daughter.
- Desk calendars - 3 that I recall. They're all perpetual calendars, meaning they go through the entire year only by date; when we reach the end of the year, we turn it over and start the process again. (I have to confess, one was specifically for the year 2002; it commemorates Claude Monet and his art, and though it's pages have broken
free and ready to fly off the desk, I keep it in check. Some pages are reproductions of his art; others are photos of Monet alone or with other members of his family.) - Purse calendar - only one; it's available for making appointments when I visit medical facilities.
- Phone calendar - intended to reflect all the personal appointments already in the purse calendar, but occasionally something falls through the cracks and could be lost. (My fail-safe solution is to always carry both the purse and phone calendars. Belt-and-suspenders gal, remember?)
- Personal Daily calendar - a system I started a few years ago: Using an 8.5x11 spiral notebook, I allow one page per week--divide that one page into 8 squares (more or less square)--list each day's events or intentions or reminders. This is only for my own use, so I don't go into details. I can also remind myself that my sewing session for that day has been cancelled, or my knitting time won't take place that week. These are not rescheduled. They're Monday and Tuesday events. When they happen.
Once the calendars are up and running, I can relax a little. The new month has now officially started. If I've been diligent about putting my medical appointments on the kitchen calendar with the big squares, then both my daughter and I know where I'm going to be and when.
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- Up at the normal time (this is iffy, but we'll assume it for a starting point). Make coffee, write in my journal.
- Next, watch an online program called Morning Prayer while I eat my breakfast.
- These two events are considered my normal morning routine.
- Then on to whatever "The Calendar" says is going to happen today, or needs to happen. If it's an event that requires me to go out of the house, I check the weather. Cold and wind are likely to keep me home, if I have that option. Both cold and wind attack my breathing, even with a mask. My energy is drained. If for some reason I absolutely have to go out and stay out for a time--shopping for groceries, picking up medications, going to an appointment--then I have to accept that there will be nothing more for me that day. When I finally get home, I'll be wiped out.
- By opting to do my errands/appts/etc, I've opted out of further activities later on.
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Years ago there was a popular saying, "Stop the world, I want to get off!" That was merely a clever way of saying, "Too much going on! I need to stop!" In those days nobody called it "opting out" but that was exactly what we wanted to do. Stop doing what we were doing, going to do, having to do.
On the plus side:
- Opting out means we're able to recover some much-needed time--for rest, for healing, for pursuing something important to us (reading a book, painting a picture, talking with a friend, cooking up a big batch of something yummy).
- Opting out can also help us cope with all the demands on our time. We don't have to say "yes" to absolutely demand or request. Really! It's okay to say "no" once in a while.
- Opting out can also give us the leisure we need to work through something thorny in our lives--a decision that has to be made, an issue that needs to be resolved.
On the minus side:
- Once you've got into the practice of opting out, it's a seductive business. Easy to decide it's "much-needed time" instead of just a way to get out of doing something else. The temptation to say "no" becomes less and less onerous; in fact, I've noticed I can say "no" without even thinking through the request being made of me. Hmmm.
- Opting out can also be a way of avoiding important issues--those thorny somethings in our lives. Too much avoiding becomes a habit. Trust me on this.
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Opting In may also be an important choice. Getting involved to help with problems in the church, community, family . . . again, be mindful. Not everything is your place to serve.
The main thing I know about Choices is this: Life would be a lot simpler if we had only to choose between TWO things at any one time. Right? Sometimes that happens. But what about those times when we have THREE choices or even FOUR/FIVE/EIGHT? I find it helpful to remember this: Simpler is not better. Having many possible choices can enrich our lives. It's our job, each one of us, to make choices to have the kind of life we believe is right for us. And, for others.
You want a simple life? Make choices to help that happen. You want a full, piled-up-high life? That requires different choices. Go ahead! They're yours to make.
Until next time, may all your choices be good ones!
Blessings,
Thursday's Child
The story my husband tells about retirement (too often) is that it's not about not working--it's about choices. Even when there are too many, it's the most delicious part of not having a "day job."
ReplyDeleteCouldn't agree more!
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