LIFE IN THE SLOW LANE.....

There was a time when living life in the fast lane was the way to go. Everybody knew that. We had to go faster, farther, do more, get there quicker (wherever there was). It was the only definition for success going. The Eagles had a song about it. Had to be true.

Uh-huh. Until it wasn't true any more.

I can already anticipate reader response to this topic--they'll say: once she got to this age, she had to slow down, so now she's making it into a virtue.

And?

Let's get something out of the way right now: This is not about "stopping to smell the roses" or "getting off the merry-go-round"--that was 60s stuff. This is about living deeper. Ready? Take a deep breath.......

Think back to a time when you were deeply committed to something--your children, your marriage, your church, your hobby (whatever it was); politics; teaching; practicing medicine; playing in an orchestra; playing on a sports team, volunteering somewhere in your community . . . it doesn't matter what it was, or when it was, you had a strong attachment to that activity, that role you played. And while it was strong, it was also deep. So deep you didn't--couldn't-- always tear yourself away to do things or go places other people wanted you to do or go. 

In some instances, you may have lost friends or other relationships because of your commitment. Or, you may have been fortunate enough to have understanding folks around you who helped you honor your role and still remain part of a family or neighborhood or group.

My belief, based on my own experience and observing the experience of others, is that a deep commitment is a way of living in the Slow Lane. We continue in our path--either chosen by us or having been led into it--and we do that despite distractions and even well-meaning invitations to join in something else.

Consider world-class athletes who train for the chance to go to the Olympics. Consider musicians whose CDs you have in your collection who practiced for hours (literally!) every day of the week so their music would be the best they could make it. Consider scientists who work long hours in laboratories, sometimes alone, sometimes on teams--trying to find the answer to a puzzling disease, or the structure of cells, or how and why our climate is running amok.

My life wasn't geared toward any great goal--looking at what I did "back then," I see it was almost always something I saw that needed doing, at home or at church or in my community. I had a lot of company then, doing what I was doing--and I can say our attitude was one of "let's get this done." Or, as the Brits say, "Just get on with it."

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Some of us never had to make the decision to give up our Slow Lane life. But I suspect many of us had to wait until the time was right to find it--the children grown and flown, retirement from a day job, a move to another part of the country, a broken marriage, a death--we never thought we'd live through some of these changes, but we did. And when we came out on the other side, we found we had something called "free time." Hours and days unscheduled. A grand gift. And possibly a bit scary.

We may also have found ourselves a tad adrift--no job to go to, no family commitments, perhaps even no close friends, if we'd moved to a far-away place. This is the ideal time to consider living in the Slow Lane.

I know, whole books have been written on this subject, so you won't find this post definitive. The main things to remember are these:

--Slow Lane living is about depth, not speed.

--Former commitments don't have to be renewed. New ones can be explored.

--Not every hour of every day needs to be filled in. (There is no prize for a full calendar.)

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I've always been a schedule person (goes with being a list-maker) and I've discovered scheduling is still important to me, well into retirement, so I choose to continue to use it. Keeping track of medical appointments, birth dates of people dear to me, and due dates for library items are right at the top of my list. But I don't obsess about that keeping-track. I do it for peace of mind.

Life in the Slow Lane doesn't have to be filled with sloths. Tortoises are welcome; at least they move around, a little at a time. Maybe a better word to use for Slow Lane living is Patience. 

Maybe that's what Slow Lane living is all about--being patient, making a space and a place for Peace of Mind. I can do that. How about you?

Blessings,

Thursday's Child

P.S. The resurrection lilies in the pic below happen only once a year. I wait through the long period of lots of green leaves, their death into long brown stuff, and then the shoots come through, a few at a time. Then more. and finally a whole clutch of them in all their glory. Worth waiting for.

Resurrection Lilies with Holly Hippo