ROAD TRIP THINKING

Lilies--as a possibility

On a recent road trip to an appointment in the city, my daughter (also my driver) and I got into a discussion about the ways people navigate through life. 

**As an aside: We've learned, by experience, that it's best not to get into these deep talks on the way to the appointment, only afterward, when we're on the way home. That way, we don't miss an crucial exit on the freeway and possibly arrive late. Going home--not so much pressure.**

On that particular day, my daughter mentioned "deficit thinking." Not a term I was familiar with, but I grasped the idea. Pretty simple, really: thinking from a place of not having. Examples abound in all areas:

  I can't paint, I don't have the talent/supplies/money/connections . . . .

  My life is full already--I don't have time to paint/practice the viola/learn to quilt . . . .

  And my all-time favorite: I'm too old to _______. 

Okay, that's enough examples. We all know what "deficit thinking" means. If we haven't said it (or thought it to ourselves), we've heard it said. Boiled down, it's what we used to call "negative attitude."

Okay. Other side--"possibilities thinking." 

Got some samples to share? How about these:

  What do I have now?

  What can I do, even without a particular tool?

  What if I _____?

Basically, we're looking at what we can do based on what we already have/know/can try.

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Deficit thinking deals quite a lot in If-Onlys.

Possibilities thinking deals in What-Ifs.

So how can we shift from the minus type of thinking to the plus type?

Not as hard as you might think. Consider these:

    Do-Overs. If you're old enough, you were brought up on the old saying, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." Hardly anything in life is a one-and-done. Why would painters, musicians, sculptors, quilters, and other creative folks keep on trying new techniques? Why would they explore a new idea, a new way of looking at the same subject? 

  If you watch the Olympics, do you think those performers got it right the first time? If they did, why did they continue practicing? (Sometimes for years!)

  Hindsight. The only reason anyone tries the same thing more than once is to assess the result. Could it have been larger? Smaller? Taller? Miniature in scale? Different colors/textures? That doesn't mean the first one was "wrong"; it means there were other possibilities--and how do they look?

  Looking in the Rearview Mirror. Another way to assess results. Put it away for a time to "cool" and take it out later. This is a technique often used by writers, who report errors and typos that appeared after a time away from the manuscript. Distance can be measured in time as well as physical location.

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Again from my experience, I suspect a lot of us hesitate to risk the try-and-fail of possibilities because (1) we don't want to waste time, (2) we don't want people to know we're less than perfect (or at least good) at something, or (3) it feels scary, especially if we haven't tried it before.

Going forward--how about leaning toward the Possibilities side? Leave Deficit Thinking for other folks to try. Or maybe, more folks will look at our positive efforts and decide to try them also.

Blessings,

Thursday's Child

In Full Bloom